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[ It was that but who has the details? Certainly not Joonghyuk as I dead eye his thread with Sooyoung.
Hastily, Dokja moves past that awkward bump in the road in exchange for something a little more makeshift, hand squeezing the arm he's taken hold of while he mind does a mental blue screen at how unfairly firm and muscled it is for just a second before he blinks back to himself. Where was he. ]
Why not?
[ He knows he's being annoying by shooting back the question, but he does not have an answer that would be satisfactory for Dokja and Dokja only, so dodge it is. ]
It's not like you're busy.
Hastily, Dokja moves past that awkward bump in the road in exchange for something a little more makeshift, hand squeezing the arm he's taken hold of while he mind does a mental blue screen at how unfairly firm and muscled it is for just a second before he blinks back to himself. Where was he. ]
Why not?
[ He knows he's being annoying by shooting back the question, but he does not have an answer that would be satisfactory for Dokja and Dokja only, so dodge it is. ]
It's not like you're busy.
You don't know that.
[ He says that, but Dokja is right and probably knows that. Most of his time is spend wandering, talking to locals and natives, trying to find any useful world lore. So far, there's not much.
Does the blue screen get passed on connection cause that'd be funny. Joonghyuk would be like ?? what is he thinking, if so. Don't mind him returning to the dishes as he drops this. Think he isn't clever enough to somehow swing back? ]
With that time you could go kiss that person again.
[ Should have just told him. Not me skipping the rest of my inbox when I'm about to leave work just to dunk on Dokja. ]
[ He says that, but Dokja is right and probably knows that. Most of his time is spend wandering, talking to locals and natives, trying to find any useful world lore. So far, there's not much.
Does the blue screen get passed on connection cause that'd be funny. Joonghyuk would be like ?? what is he thinking, if so. Don't mind him returning to the dishes as he drops this. Think he isn't clever enough to somehow swing back? ]
With that time you could go kiss that person again.
[ Should have just told him. Not me skipping the rest of my inbox when I'm about to leave work just to dunk on Dokja. ]
[ How many people have tried to help him now? Dokja's quickly losing count and the more he thinks about it, the more he doesn't understand.
But maybe he wants to.
So caught up is he in his suffocating guilt, that he hasn't had the proper moment to step back and assess the connections that he's made. It had made certain things easier that way, and he'd been able to turn his face away from the loss of people he'd grown to care for as they'd disappeared one by one. He'd shuttered the windows of his heart, devastation carefully packed away and compartmentalized into another part of him that he wouldn't revisit, and that had been that. Selfishly, subconsciously, he had thought the world and people around him were ever-moving, while Dokja remained the same.
He can't continue on like this, is the slow realization as Eustace's words sink in. He has... people... that he cares about here. People that... care about him in return.
As hard as that is to believe.
There's no response from Dokja's end, but a hesitant acknowledgement passes through the connection they share. He wants Eustace to know, as much as he can't use his words right now, that it's there. Quiet, stifled, and present. He won't reach out in return just yet, fingers curling and uncurling as he works to undo the thousands upon thousands of years of damage dealt to his mind, but it's better than a refusal. Better than his usual method of pushing away.
And with that muted acknowledgement comes an end to their Communion. ]
But maybe he wants to.
So caught up is he in his suffocating guilt, that he hasn't had the proper moment to step back and assess the connections that he's made. It had made certain things easier that way, and he'd been able to turn his face away from the loss of people he'd grown to care for as they'd disappeared one by one. He'd shuttered the windows of his heart, devastation carefully packed away and compartmentalized into another part of him that he wouldn't revisit, and that had been that. Selfishly, subconsciously, he had thought the world and people around him were ever-moving, while Dokja remained the same.
He can't continue on like this, is the slow realization as Eustace's words sink in. He has... people... that he cares about here. People that... care about him in return.
As hard as that is to believe.
There's no response from Dokja's end, but a hesitant acknowledgement passes through the connection they share. He wants Eustace to know, as much as he can't use his words right now, that it's there. Quiet, stifled, and present. He won't reach out in return just yet, fingers curling and uncurling as he works to undo the thousands upon thousands of years of damage dealt to his mind, but it's better than a refusal. Better than his usual method of pushing away.
And with that muted acknowledgement comes an end to their Communion. ]
[ Yeah, you can have his gay thots.
Meanwhile, Dokja makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat, entire body tensing in reaction. There's no reasonable way to play stupid out of this one. This is killing him. He is going to fucking die. Again.
Drawing his hand back, his narrowed eyes dart around the room like they're in search of someone. Specifically... ]
Han Sooyoung told you?
[ His tone is accusing, embarrassment now gone as something more indignant replaces it. He can't believe she spilled the beans to Joonghyuk. Worse than that, he can't believe what he's even hearing because why in the hell would he go kiss Eustace again?? ]
Meanwhile, Dokja makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat, entire body tensing in reaction. There's no reasonable way to play stupid out of this one. This is killing him. He is going to fucking die. Again.
Drawing his hand back, his narrowed eyes dart around the room like they're in search of someone. Specifically... ]
Han Sooyoung told you?
[ His tone is accusing, embarrassment now gone as something more indignant replaces it. He can't believe she spilled the beans to Joonghyuk. Worse than that, he can't believe what he's even hearing because why in the hell would he go kiss Eustace again?? ]
More like she was talking to herself while she was communioning me.
[ You know how annoying it is to be a soundboard? Why do you stinkies talk to yourselves all the time? Sometimes, Joonghyuk isn't sure why he's included in conversations when what people want to do is vent their passions or grievances.
The dishes are done, so he puts them away into the cupboards before he wipes down the counter clean. Excess water and suds are not allowed. No matter where Dokja looks, the conniving Han Sooyoung is nowhere to be found. Only her belongings left behind remain in the room. ]
You can spend time with them.
[ The emotion that rides on their connection is... Peace? He's happy for you, Dokja, to have found someone to KISS. ]
[ You know how annoying it is to be a soundboard? Why do you stinkies talk to yourselves all the time? Sometimes, Joonghyuk isn't sure why he's included in conversations when what people want to do is vent their passions or grievances.
The dishes are done, so he puts them away into the cupboards before he wipes down the counter clean. Excess water and suds are not allowed. No matter where Dokja looks, the conniving Han Sooyoung is nowhere to be found. Only her belongings left behind remain in the room. ]
You can spend time with them.
[ The emotion that rides on their connection is... Peace? He's happy for you, Dokja, to have found someone to KISS. ]
[ You grow up talking to yourself when there's no one else there for you, OKAY.
Dokja is left dumbstruck as his gaze returns to Joonghyuk, and he stares. He stares like he's not sure what to make of this suggestion because a second ago he was being told to spend his time kissing? For what reason? What's more unnerving is the strange sense of peace that comes across their connection, which only further stresses him out. ]
But I asked you?
[ In contrast to the peace that Joonghyuk exudes, Dokja hits back with complete bewilderment. He doesn't understand what a pollen-fueled night of kissing has to do with accompanying him to the libraries, and while he's mortified that this news is traveling, he's not thinking too much on the act itself. ]
Hold on, what did she tell you?
Dokja is left dumbstruck as his gaze returns to Joonghyuk, and he stares. He stares like he's not sure what to make of this suggestion because a second ago he was being told to spend his time kissing? For what reason? What's more unnerving is the strange sense of peace that comes across their connection, which only further stresses him out. ]
But I asked you?
[ In contrast to the peace that Joonghyuk exudes, Dokja hits back with complete bewilderment. He doesn't understand what a pollen-fueled night of kissing has to do with accompanying him to the libraries, and while he's mortified that this news is traveling, he's not thinking too much on the act itself. ]
Hold on, what did she tell you?
[ Because Dokja should be spending time with those he loves? How difficult is that to understand—except that there's a misunderstanding somewhere here. Joonghyuk, while aware of the confusion and stress in their connection, simply believes that Dokja is emotionally obtuse. He's been at the end of his stupidity before.
He soaks the towel under the faucet, then wrings it of excess water before he looks over to Dokja for like. A whole second. Then looks ahead at nothing in particular, possibly recalling what she said or wanting to avoid remembering. ]
That she was forced to see it.
[ There's a sense that, yeah, he's obscuring some other things. Maybe it's best if he doesn't tell him that Sooyoung blasted the image into his head. ]
He soaks the towel under the faucet, then wrings it of excess water before he looks over to Dokja for like. A whole second. Then looks ahead at nothing in particular, possibly recalling what she said or wanting to avoid remembering. ]
That she was forced to see it.
[ There's a sense that, yeah, he's obscuring some other things. Maybe it's best if he doesn't tell him that Sooyoung blasted the image into his head. ]
[ This might possibly be the worst conversation he's ever had with Joonghyuk. His bewilderment splinters off into even more confusion at the answer he receives, Dokja squinting his eyes as he stares at the other man like he can gleam all the answers just by staring hard enough. ]
She wasn't forced to see it.
[ The incredulity of his tone pitches it higher than usual and then he's pacing. He's pacing because he needs something to do in this moment that isn't just standing there looking like a dumbfounded idiot. ]
I didn't even know she was there. Ugh, what kind of useless things is she saying...
[ Sorry, Joonghyuk, but there it is again. Dokja is mostly talking to himself now as he moves back and forth in the small space offered to them. ]
She wasn't forced to see it.
[ The incredulity of his tone pitches it higher than usual and then he's pacing. He's pacing because he needs something to do in this moment that isn't just standing there looking like a dumbfounded idiot. ]
I didn't even know she was there. Ugh, what kind of useless things is she saying...
[ Sorry, Joonghyuk, but there it is again. Dokja is mostly talking to himself now as he moves back and forth in the small space offered to them. ]
[ Joonghyuk thinks back on the communion... Sooyoung was upset for other reasons, more important things, than whatever they're talking about. Rightfully so—he feels the same way as her, but he was never as vocal. Instead, he allowed his emotions to emanate from his very person, for his actions and his blade to speak for him. Until today, of course. This is his first using a different approach.
He doesn't know if Sooyoung ended up doing something nice to Dokja with her name attached, but he won't ask. As much as they are at odds, Joonghyuk is her ally and he won't jeopardize her plans to mend their relationship. This includes if she ruins it herself. That's her problem.
The kitchen countertop is clean, so he's left to stand. Turning his body toward Dokja, he leans back against counter with arms crossed. It's very casual and laidback. ]
She was curious about your budding relationship.
[ This part he will divulge because it's not important. ]
He doesn't know if Sooyoung ended up doing something nice to Dokja with her name attached, but he won't ask. As much as they are at odds, Joonghyuk is her ally and he won't jeopardize her plans to mend their relationship. This includes if she ruins it herself. That's her problem.
The kitchen countertop is clean, so he's left to stand. Turning his body toward Dokja, he leans back against counter with arms crossed. It's very casual and laidback. ]
She was curious about your budding relationship.
[ This part he will divulge because it's not important. ]
[ Pump the brakes. Dokja stops in his pacing to shoot Joonghyuk an incredulous stare. ]
Budding...?
[ That's the part he focuses on, because the "relationship" here clearly means in a purely platonic sense. It's almost impressive how much Dokja doesn't even consider what else it could mean. ]
She's being ridiculous. I've known Eustace for almost a year now.
[ It doesn't feel like a long time... Especially when he considers the countless years he'd spent before arriving in Horos, but saying it out loud has Dokja's expression twisting, as if everything's become a little more real than previously just by acknowledging how long he's been part of this "save your worlds" mess. ]
Budding...?
[ That's the part he focuses on, because the "relationship" here clearly means in a purely platonic sense. It's almost impressive how much Dokja doesn't even consider what else it could mean. ]
She's being ridiculous. I've known Eustace for almost a year now.
[ It doesn't feel like a long time... Especially when he considers the countless years he'd spent before arriving in Horos, but saying it out loud has Dokja's expression twisting, as if everything's become a little more real than previously just by acknowledging how long he's been part of this "save your worlds" mess. ]
[ A year means nothing to Joonghyuk, but he understands that is still long... He knows that his and Sooyoung's arrival is relatively new. His eyebrows arch to his bangs as he fits the timeframe in to the narrative. ]
So you fell long ago?
[ Dokja. Why are you stupid? Joonghyuk uses a phrase that should make it obvious what they're talking about... He doesn't outright say it because he's giving the other man way too much credit here. However, Dokja is not. Instilling a lot of confidence in him. In hindsight, he wonders why he assumed back then that Sangah and Dokja were a couple.
He truly was foolish years ago, he thinks. ]
So you fell long ago?
[ Dokja. Why are you stupid? Joonghyuk uses a phrase that should make it obvious what they're talking about... He doesn't outright say it because he's giving the other man way too much credit here. However, Dokja is not. Instilling a lot of confidence in him. In hindsight, he wonders why he assumed back then that Sangah and Dokja were a couple.
He truly was foolish years ago, he thinks. ]
[ Ah, here it is. The slow realization as Dokja's head slowly tilts to the side while he narrows his eyes like something's on the verge of clicking in his head. Fell? Fell for what? Fell for Eustace?
The idea is so shocking that he thinks he's misheard. Or misunderstood. In fact, the surprise comes across with such a hitting force in their Exalt connection that it's enough to make it plainly obvious that Dokja is completely flabbergasted by the idea. Sure, he likes Eustace, but... in the way that's being assumed?? ]
... Yoo Joonghyuk, tell me you don't think I'm in some kind of romantic relationship with Eustace.
[ PLEASE. He's mentally in shambles while he outwardly presents himself in as composed of a manner as possible. ]
The idea is so shocking that he thinks he's misheard. Or misunderstood. In fact, the surprise comes across with such a hitting force in their Exalt connection that it's enough to make it plainly obvious that Dokja is completely flabbergasted by the idea. Sure, he likes Eustace, but... in the way that's being assumed?? ]
... Yoo Joonghyuk, tell me you don't think I'm in some kind of romantic relationship with Eustace.
[ PLEASE. He's mentally in shambles while he outwardly presents himself in as composed of a manner as possible. ]
[ Joonghyuk just looks at him... Like. Yeah. That is what he is saying?
And for some reason HE THINKS HE'S RIGHT? ]
And for some reason HE THINKS HE'S RIGHT? ]
[ The anguish of having to explain himself is real. Normally this kind of thing wouldn't be worth a conversation and Dokja would have brushed it aside as just another dumb misunderstanding, but with it having already gotten this far, he figures he might as well nip it in the bud. ]
We weren't ourselves that day. Something about the flowers blooming and their pollen had us acting differently.
[ He drops down on the nearest chair with a sigh. Really, how did it come to this. ]
I like spending time with Eustace, but we're not like that.
We weren't ourselves that day. Something about the flowers blooming and their pollen had us acting differently.
[ He drops down on the nearest chair with a sigh. Really, how did it come to this. ]
I like spending time with Eustace, but we're not like that.
[ More silence like he expects Dokja to add more for some reason? Honestly, this is the most he has ever divulged to him on a personal level aside from that time where they were divorced during the War of Saints and Demons.
The funny thing is that there's DISAPPOINTMENT? in their Exalt channel. ]
The funny thing is that there's DISAPPOINTMENT? in their Exalt channel. ]
[ Disappointment?? Oh, maybe Joonghyuk is understandably disappointed that this whole thing has been a giant waste of time! Dokja agrees! It was stupid to have thought this of him in the first place!
... The silence is unnerving, though. ]
What?
... The silence is unnerving, though. ]
What?
[ Joonghyuk snaps out of his pondering, alertness back in his gaze. He's here, he's here. ]
What?
[ Repeats what he says like he wasn't semi-distracted. ]
What?
[ Repeats what he says like he wasn't semi-distracted. ]
[ WEIRD, BUT OK ]
Where did you go just now?
[ Since he is no longer a mind reader... ]
Where did you go just now?
[ Since he is no longer a mind reader... ]
I'm right here.
[ WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHERE DID HE GO? HE DIDN'T PHYSICALLY GO ANYWHERE. ]
[ WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHERE DID HE GO? HE DIDN'T PHYSICALLY GO ANYWHERE. ]
I meant what were you thinking about.
[ This is why they can't have conversations with each other. ]
[ This is why they can't have conversations with each other. ]
You're actually asking.
[ This is a surprise? There is surprise. ]
[ This is a surprise? There is surprise. ]
And you're actually sticking around instead of walking away.
[ Aren't they both just filled with surprises. ]
[ Aren't they both just filled with surprises. ]
[ There's a sharp pang... Because what has him staying here is that he worries if he were to leave him without another person's gaze, Dokja would disappear into nothing. Like this is a dream, one that he should wake up from, but hasn't and refuses to.
...
The silence continues, grumpily as Joonghyuk usually is. His eyes shift elsewhere as he returns to his original thought. ]
It would be nice if you found someone.
...
The silence continues, grumpily as Joonghyuk usually is. His eyes shift elsewhere as he returns to his original thought. ]
It would be nice if you found someone.
[ The silence that descends on them is deafening, and Dokja struggles for a moment because what? Did he hear that right? He almost believes he had an auditory hallucination over whatever the heck it is that Joonghyuk just said.
Dokja leans back in his seat, though his gaze remains fixed on the other man. ]
... Seriously?
Dokja leans back in his seat, though his gaze remains fixed on the other man. ]
... Seriously?
[ STOP LOOKING AT HIM!! HE ISN'T GOING TO LOOK BACK!!! ]
They'd be by your side.
[ And maybe Dokja would allow them to be... He doesn't know? There is bristling envy at the thought because—why must he and Sooyoung be pushed away? They've known him longer. They've suffered so many trials together. To leave room for someone else, someone whom Dokja trusts and confides in, is an strange thought.
But ultimately, Dokja could be happy, couldn't he? Have you ever felt someone struggle with contentment but also emptiness before. It's fine. People move on when you let them. ]
They'd be by your side.
[ And maybe Dokja would allow them to be... He doesn't know? There is bristling envy at the thought because—why must he and Sooyoung be pushed away? They've known him longer. They've suffered so many trials together. To leave room for someone else, someone whom Dokja trusts and confides in, is an strange thought.
But ultimately, Dokja could be happy, couldn't he? Have you ever felt someone struggle with contentment but also emptiness before. It's fine. People move on when you let them. ]
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