[ It's always before he turns in for the night that his mind wanders the most, past the confines of Achamoth and to the darkness beyond. He thinks about the skydoms, the feel of wind against his cheeks and the sight of the blue sky all around him. He thinks about the scent of gunpowder seeped into his clothes and the invisible shackles around his wrists and ankles, shackles that have somehow managed to follow him all the way here despite the absence of the Society and the Foe.
But mostly, he thinks about people. Of people long lost to him, and people on the verge of being lost to him. And, ever so briefly, of near-strangers who have entered and exited his life, annoying in all the worst ways. He said he hadn't cared, but that look in his eyes had implied otherwise.
Eustace ought to know. He's worn that self-same look too many times in the past. ]
Why did you care so much?
[ He doesn't mean it as a communion message but the feeling of it drifts anyway, his usual self-control loosened by the fuzz of exhaustion.
and also because i need an excuse to communion, so sue me ]
[ Nights are the worst. They're quiet enough for the intrusive thoughts to seep in and settle at the very forefront of his mind like longtime residents, only out for a stroll during the day but returning on time each night to resume their work. And like always, Dokja tries to chase them away by burying himself into the pages of books.
But tonight starts out different, and he's startled when a different voice enters his mind. It takes him a long, drawn out moment to recognize it, and when he does, he's left bewildered.
... Eustace?
This is the last person he'd thought would reach out to him, especially after how they'd parted ways. They haven't seen each other since, and while Dokja has occasionally wondered about him, he's been preoccupied with... too much.
When he finally answers, shard held between his hands, it's defensive. Cagey. Wary and sharp. ]
Care about what?
[ But there's a note of vulnerability present that he isn't able to fully conceal. ]
[ Dokja had been escorted back into the city by his two doting caretakers as if he were an unruly toddler - a comparison that isn't too far off the mark considering, it seems. after Himeka had taken great pains to ensure the Martyr's wounds had been tended enough he could sleep (relatively) comfortably, he was chivvied into bed and ordered a heaping dose of Rest in order for wounds to knit and to give his body time to heal from his ordeal. it was obvious he had a concussion, at the very least.
the poor man's face is still a mess of discolored bruises, but at least he's cleaned up of blood and grime from the day prior and hopefully feeling more human after a decent night's sleep. whenever Dokja's eyes part to find the sunlight already pouring in the window, he'll also find a certain silver-haired man having dragged a chair to his bedside, nursing a cup of some warm beverage in his hands and another on the bedside table.
a quiet reprieve before the priest notices his ward is awake... a rare moment of Quiet in Abel Nightroad's company. enjoy it, ]
[ It's probably the best sleep he's had since arriving in this new world. A testament to how physically and mentally exhausted he'd been to reach a point of simply falling unconscious and the usual nightmares not being enough to shake him awake.
So he at least feels better rested than before when his eyes slowly blink open, and while his tender face and dully aching head remind him of what he'd just gone through, they're easy to ignore. He has, unfortunately, been through worse. It's more the reminders of how he'd lost his grip on reality that come back to haunt him, and he flinches as the memories slowly filter back into his head. How embarrassing.
And he isn't alone to drown himself in his shame and misery either. There's no ignoring the man seated by his bed, and Dokja has Feared this moment. Knew that it was coming, yet he's so wholly unprepared for it. ]
[It's late in the evening when a sensation Dokja ought to recognize easily enough by now echoes into his mind. Communion is an old trick to all the initial wave of Aions at this point, but what may be new about this instance is how it doesn't... really come with anything: no audio, no message, no image, no feelings. It's merely prodding and nothing more, almost as if checking whether or not he's there. If his mind is sound and alright.
It's the closest thing to a courtesy heads-up the other side can afford him, given what's happened and their positions. But he knows that... feeling, doesn't he? He's communicated with this presence before, they're not strangers. Maybe he can tell who it is if he focuses hard enough, but if he doesn't, that's fine too. He DID more or less get a panic attack the last time he became aware of this person, so he could hardly be blamed for wanting to stay ignorant, hm? Does he REALLY want to dig his shard out for this? Understandable too, if he just keeps it where it normally stays lodged.]
[ Yes, it's familiar. The presence on the other end is familiar, too.
There's nothing in return for a long stretch of time, enough of it to make anyone think they were being ignored, but then there's a faint response. A dull, muffled pulse through their connection, slow and hesitant.
Dokja doesn't much like this method of communication. It's too easy to let his emotions slip past the barriers he'd carefully set in place for himself with his mental state as fragile as it is to have any control over what he feels, and this makes him wary, almost afraid of using this ability.
Even more so now when he knows who it is on the other end of the line.
But he's reminded of her help from before, of what Abel had told him about her sudden appearance at the Lovers shrine, and while he doesn't remove his stone just yet, he does tentatively reach out in return. Not a greeting, not a question, just an acknowledgement that he knows she's there. ]
[ As the connection starts, a bleed of conflicted emotions start to bleed out around the edges. The thinnest scraping of frustration, a blot of confusion, even some scattered flecks of guilt at having left Dokja to clean up his own mess.
There's a lot to feel about what Ernesto happened to stumble across happening between Dokja and Gen, but whatever he's feeling probably pales in comparison to what Dokja himself is feeling. Last time these two fought, Ernesto had come to find Dokja in person to keep him from avoiding a conversation.
This time he doesn't have a choice. He can't be seen with Dokja anymore. Not in Godsblood at any rate. ]
[ The downside to doing this through Communion rather than in person is exactly the concern Ernesto had the first time.
Dokja doesn't answer.
There's not even a hint that he receives the message, not a stir or a whisper of emotion that reaches back. It's just... a silence. Dokja is clearly there because otherwise his absence would be felt, but he has, for the most part, shut down. ]
[ There's definitely no answer at the first knock, mostly because it has Dokja frozen in place where he's seated on his bed with a book in his lap. It's at least better than going into his fifth depression nap of the day? But he's immediately wary as he stares at his door, all too aware of his status as an outed Aion after his run-in with Gen, and it's only when he hears the voice on the other side that he allows himself to relax.
It doesn't last very long. Dokja's anxiety spikes enough that it can be felt even past a wall, and he nervously closes the book to set it aside before getting to his feet.
At the door, he pauses. He's got an idea of why Abel is here and... he doesn't know if he can face it. Face him. ]
... Ernesto told you?
[ So for now, he decides to hide behind the door. ]
[ It's been a while since they've crossed paths, but after Ernesto filled Himeka in on the happenings in Godsblood and she promised Abel that she would try, Himeka chances a communion to her past patient. Hopefully he won't mind a call out of the blue? ]
Dokja? It's Himeka. We met a while ago at the lodestone.
[ You know, in case he forgot the woman that healed him and then knocked him out for bed rest. ]
[ Surprise flickers through their connection, and it takes a moment for Dokja to respond. Not because he doesn't remember her (how could he ever forget?), but because he's scrambling to keep his other emotions in check so that they don't cross on through. ]
Himeka. Of course. How have you been?
[ He's at least not as depressed as before thanks to his trip with Abel, so...! Progress? ]
[ He's kind of got his hands full right now?? And he REALLY wants to ignore Eustace's call because he does not want to face how embarrassing all of this has been for him, but.
He'll let go of Abel's wrist to dig out his own shard to quickly answer. ]
—I tried to stop him!
[ Glances down at Abel with Conflicted Feelings... The Martyr connection they have is being weird. That hand is still on Abel's mouth, though. ]
[ He has been thinking about this for the past idk week or so, time is a social construct, but he doesn't like thinking about problems without also thinking of solutions to said problems so here he is, casually invading Dokja's mindspace with a nice lil communion. ]
Did we actually kiss?
[ Would it kill Eustace to say hi for once in his life? Apparently. HSY better not be gaslighting him....... ]
[ The answer is instantaneous and said in such a firm way that it could border on the truth...
If not for the way Dokja's emotions spike in alarm and embarrassment as his memories overtake him, crossing the thin barrier between their Communion to share itself with Eustace. After certain events, Dokja's found that he isn't able to control his memories and what he chooses to show, so that's biting him in the ass now as Eustace gets to catch a up close and personal view of their accidental "kiss."
... Wait a minute. Why is this even being asked? Does Eustace have amnesia?? ]
[ like a week after their beach make-out or something idk, you said you wanted an inbox thread but i am literally out of ideas so this is all you get ]
Did you end up making it home safely?
[ or did dokja find another man to mack on....if so i support him ]
[ With no pollen to assist him, Dokja enters his truest form:
An absolutely embarrassed mess.
It takes a while for him to respond because he's so busy battling his emotions to keep them at a calm, even tempo. This should be easy! He rarely bats an eyelash at most things! But he's also never had another man's tongue down his throat, so. He hates how horrible these Communions are for his avoidance behavior....... ]
Yeah, I got back in one piece. [ This is a normal conversation. ] What about you?
[ How many threads will I have where they're just in the meridian housing room. Joonghyuk is still here, mooching, but instead of peeling any apple bunnies or doing anything useful, he's just watching Dokja.
They're the same aspect now, aren't they? Laughable in so many colors. It doesn't take some foreign, invasive connection for Dokja to sense Joonghyuk watching him with muddled emotions. His gaze stays affixed onto his back, following wherever Dokja travels, taking notes on every little shift and fidget. ]
[ Oh, he thought he could ignore it... After the mess he's had with everyone he seems to be coming in contact with these days, he really wants to avoid a third screw up.
But it's really, really difficult to go about his usual activities when he is being so blatantly stared at, a slow annoyance prickling against the connection their Aspect offers them, so Dokja finally turns around to face his offender. ]
[ After a lifetime spent moving from ship to ship for his missions and staying in various inns in between, having to sleep in a bed that isn't his own is just par the course for him. The only thing that makes it different now is the person this bed belongs to, a person who should be sleeping in his own bed because even the floor would have been good enough for Eustace?? It's not like he hasn't slept on the cold hard ground before. But having already taken up enough of both Sooyoung and Dokja's kindness, making a fuss over something so insignificant is really the last thing he should be doing.
So he begrudgingly takes the bed and tries to ignore the way his guilt only grows in proportion to how long the list of Things He Owes Dokja For is. Some of it he manages to alleviate by helping around the house, though with how often he's out trying to aid the rest of Springstar's inhabitants, the time he actually spends indoors is pathetically little. If nothing else though, the exhaustion from a long day's work means he falls asleep relatively quickly each night, mind largely empty until the next morning.
Except tonight, when his mind decides that it's had enough of peaceful nothingness. Although, strangely, he doesn't ever remember having this dream before.... ]
The landscape before Eustace is dismal, cracked ground and red, ashy skies. It looks as though something had razed the very foundations of the earth, scorched it to a nothingness that spans for miles and miles and miles. But on closer inspection, a silhouette kneels in the distance, shoulders slumped and head hanging, the white of his coat stained red at the ends. Should Eustace approach, he'll find a familiar face.
Too bad that Dokja doesn't look up or even acknowledge the other man's presence, his despondent, dark gaze trained on a body lying in front of him as his scarred hands hold on to an even more scarred hand. It's Yoo Joonghyuk, pale and lifeless, with a clean stab wound that puddles blood where Dokja kneels. An unfamiliar sight for Eustace, but one that rings in haunting memories for Dokja, at the panic that had consumed him and stolen away his breath. He'd been sent into a frenzy back then, static noise in his mind as anxiety had gripped him by the throat with all its strength, but it's strange now... He distantly remembers this differently.
But with the nightmare doing its work, it's difficult to tell what's real or not, and the only thing Dokja can do in this moment is hopelessly stare down at the man he'd thought to be untouchable. ]
[ the unfamiliar Communion is cautious and timid, a woodland animal creeping out from the cover of foliage but always ready to bolt if need be. ]
Um... Excuse me, signore? It's Rudbeckia. [ there is no de Borgia. she is already digging that girl's grave to bury her in. ] We've met before, though it was only brief, so I would understand if you don't remember me... I'm sorry to bother you, but I wondered if I could ask you for— a-a favour?
[ she cannot bring herself to say the word help. ]
[ This unfamiliar Communion most definitely sees a slight pause as Dokja stops what he's doing to place the name and also try and fail to guess why he's being contacted. He hadn't done anything particularly noteworthy, keeping most of his latest troubles quiet, so he is truly at a loss for what this could be about.
... Well, he could always ask. ]
Ah, Miss Rudbeckia. Hello. [ His own tone is pleasant, like this is just a normal catch up between two acquaintances! ] What can I do for you?
[ With a little luck (and a lot of effort), he makes out of Alenroux and back into Springstar. It takes a bit to get oriented, and a bit longer to get Johnny on his way, but eventually he finds himself alone on the busy streets, tired and looking decidedly worse for the wear. (Noble efforts may have cleared out a good chunk of the monster popular on Alenroux, but there are still clusters remaining behind.)
The months may pass and the bustling city of Springstar may have changed, but his feet lead him where they always have in the past, to the front door of the modest house he used to live in before things went topsy turvy. Unfortunately he has no key and the route back has been filled with enough differences that he's not sure if the house in front of him even qualifies as home anymore. Maybe Dokja and Gray moved out. Maybe, like him, they vanished at some point and (unlike him) never came back. There's only one way to check, and if it turns out there's a stranger on the other side, then at least he'll know.
Lifting his hand, he knocks on the front door twice, an unfamiliar knot of apprehension settling in his throat. A little too late, he realizes that he probably should have found a public bath to wash off in first. Sorry, ya man looks like a mess, covered in dirt and grime and a few streaks of blood. ]
[ As usual, the house is quiet. There isn't much going on inside other than Dokja slumped against the couch cushions, glasses perched on his face as he flips through the pages of a new book he's engrossed himself with. He's finding it harder and harder to leave the house these days, his energy sapped from an alarming lack of sleep, and it's easier to crawl into bed for quick naps with his bedroom only some feet away.
When Raisin suddenly lifts his head up from where he'd been lying, Dokja doesn't pay the dog any attention, and when Raisin lets out a soft boof, Dokja distractedly shushes him. It's only when he hears the knocks on the door that he finally looks up, watching as Raisin practically sprints (it's a light jog but for a big animal like him, it's basically a full gallop) to the door. Strange, Dokja thinks as he sets his book aside on the arm of the couch and rises to a stand. Raisin is usually more mild-mannered than this.
He follows the dog to the door and isn't thinking much of anything, doesn't even check the peephole, as he opens it. It takes a second for him to register who it is he's seeing, and while Raisin may be excitedly bumping his head against their visitor's legs, Dokja can only stare, wide-eyed and mouth slightly agape, at Eustace who stands in front of him. ]
[ Another Oracle event come and gone, and once again they're back in the safety and sanctity of their home. (Their home as opposed to Dokja's home as it had started out all those months ago.)
Gray's out on another one of her Alenroux excursions, hardworking to the cause as she always is. The house still feels full though, the chickens snoozing in the backyard while Raisin snoozes at the foot of the couch. The clatter of dishes in the sink fills the air as Eustace finishes post-dinner clean-up, and Dokja lounges on the couch with yet another book. It's idyllic. Peaceful.
Or it would be, if Dokja didn't look like absolute dogshit.
Somehow things have gotten progressively worse with him even after returning from Highstorm. Eustace has a suspicion as to why, his post-return conversation with Gray always present at the back of his mind, but he'd held onto the vain hope that Dokja would have brought it up of his own volition eventually. No dice. Clearly he's going to have to take matters into his own hands.
He turns off the tap. Heads over to the couch. Proceeds to stare at Dokja for way too long before he finally speaks up. ]
Were you ever going to tell me?
[ Once again he doesn't bother with any preamble, diving straight into the conversation without any sort of context. ]
[ With an Oracle finally secured for their side, it's cause for celebration. The atmosphere in Springstar has grown lively, the people more boisterous. But Dokja's idea of a celebration is more muted than most, staying inside and relaxing after a long week and, for once, not nursing any new wounds. Old wounds, however, spread rapidly, and Dokja finds that he doesn't have the energy to travel more than the distance between the couch and the bed these days.
He's even having a hard time making out the letters in his book, and no amount of adjusting the glasses sitting on his face make them any clearer. He's so deeply concentrating on just trying to read a single sentence that he doesn't notice that the clatter of dishes has stopped, the tap shut off, and that Eustace is standing over him until the silence between them is broken.
Dokja blinks up in surprise, caught off-guard because he hadn't been paying attention, though no part of him is confused by the question. He had known Eustace would find out eventually, partly because of Dokja's rapidly declining state doing him no favors, but also by guessing that Gray was aware of what had occurred with him and Rin. So then, it was only a matter of time before Eustace and Gray would speak, leading to... this.
With a quiet sigh, Dokja shuts the book and sits up on the couch. He could play stupid, the way he so often does, but he doesn't. What would be the point of that? And after everything he's already put Eustace through? ]
Sit down. You're too tall for me to be looking up at you from here.
[ He's not trying to add an aching neck on top of everything else, and Dokja pats the spot next to him. ]
As much as he hates people busting into his mind place without warning, he is not opposed to doing it himself; however, there is not rush really.
So Dokja gets the equivalent of 🧍♂️ outside of his mind. This weirdly looming, gloomy, terribly dark sort of aura rumbling like a storm cloud there at the edge, looking for entry, ringing the door bell. Let him in! It's familiar, and yet, the depth of this aura does not match who it brings to mind.
Especially not when Dokja got to see him as a drawn-up child with short, wild hair.]
[ Wow, this would do well in a horror slash thriller film.
There's some surprise on Dokja's end since he hadn't been expecting this, even though he really should have. Just... a lot's been happening recently, and he's never really been the best at keeping all his ducks in a row.
Once the connection is made, something about Dokja seems different. Gone is that sickly exhaustion that had weighed him down for all those months, and when he answers the call, it's straight to concern. ]
[ Because his life doesn't suck enough, Dokja walks into this going on in his living room. There's zero sign of anyone having broken in, or anything else suspicious; only a person who Definitely Does Not Live Here sprinting around all fours in pursuit of a cat. His cat. ]
[ Not his cat!! To remain as in line with this gif as possible, the cat will be their gray cat, fluffiest and most skittish of all their housecats. As soon as Dokja registers what the hell is happening, he rushes forward to grab Fluffy (aptly named) with his hands, earning a couple of panicked scratches in the process.
But he can't think about the pain as he stares at Mordred, completely aghast by her running around on all fours. ]
[ Very suddenly, there’s a sense of Communion touching your character’s mind. However, it’s as if they connect with the mind of a shared Aspect, as they’re not able to block out the brief, but sharp memory that comes to them. ]
As a Shard-Bearer opens the door of their home, they’re greeted with shouts of “Surprise!” that almost have them unleash the deadliest of their spells, but it’s quickly replaced by warm, teary laughter. Their friends really remembered their offhand comment that they’d never had a surprise birthday party?
[ ooc note — Just to avoid OOC confusion/misinterpretation, the details included in this memory are random and are not necessarily interconnected or plot meaningful beyond a surface level. However, your character is free to interpret this random memory however they’d like! This event will also be touched on somewhat during today’s NPC Communion Post. ]
[Dokja may or may not have found out already considering there are two little holes in his boyfriend's neck, but that isn't the point actually.
The point is Eustace coerced him emotionally into not allowing Dokja to go any longer without knowing a vampire has been invited into their home.
He isn't the type to ever casually offer up the fact he is a dhampir; he does not hide it, but only speaks about it when the conversation makes it necessary. Apparently Dokja's idiocy makes it necessary.
He comes to casually haunt the door of whatever room Dokja has decided to inhabit on this day before whenever the Oracle destroys them. Two of the cats have followed him out of curiosity, and they are likewise ghostly in their presence of the bottom doorframe. D does not say anything which is stupid and rude.
[ Dokja's just chilling in his room, ass on the floor and back leaned up against the bedframe which is kind of a choice when he could just be sitting on the bed itself. But for some reason, he's picked floor, and he's got his face buried in a book as he usually does, engrossed in some fantasy series that he's picked up.
He does not know about the bite on Eustace's neck, because imagine honesty. Imagine open communication. Imagine Dokja putting two and two together for once in his life.
Even now, it takes a second longer than it really should for him to notice D standing in the doorway, and it's only when Dokja flips a page that he chances a look up, and then his shoulders jump in surprise, his eyes wide for just a moment before they narrow accusingly. ]
[Wherever Dokja is in the labyrinth during the Oracle, something small and aerodynamic flies overhead before dive-bombing him directly in the face. There is nowhere to cling onto the face, though, so it falls off and instead latches onto Dokja's front as it slips by.
A small, fuzzy little guy looks up at Dokja from center chest.
But bizarrely, in D's quiet, low voice, it says:]
Something has happened to Eustace. I'm looking for his Shard. I'm sorry.
[Sadly, the bat can only repeat these few sentences, but it is very cute while it remains stuck to Dokja's clothes.]
[ WHAT IS IT NOW!! Dokja makes a strangled, startled noise at being dive-bombed, though instead of batting (heh) away the creature clinging to his front, his free hand instead reaches out to better support it.
And then the actual bomb drops.
Dokja immediately stills and the sword in his other hand clatters to the ground as he shakily uses both hands to pry the little bat from his front to bring it closer to his face. He can't even think about how odd it is to hear D's voice come from the small animal's mouth, the rest of the world and everything with it fading away as his breaths shorten in distress. ]
What do you mean his Shard? Is he... is he dead?
[ Just asking that places a sharp ache in his chest, and Dokja is finding it more and more difficult to breathe. When all he gets is the same repeated sentences, he has to reach out for the nearest wall to steady himself, his surroundings suddenly spinning as he succumbs to his panic.
... It takes a while, but eventually, Dokja manages to pull himself together just enough to send a terror-laced Communion to D. ]
[ So we're back here at the Great Tree, except instead of Dokja sprouting from the ground it's Eustace being gently enfolded inside a giant cocoon. How the turns table.
Unlike Dokja, Eustace has never died before (that he remembers) and so the whole experience is new to him. Every ache of his muscles that build and build, nagging at his attention more and more, and every scattered disjointed thought that fills his mind like some sort of eerie dream. The more the pressure builds the more he's dragged to the surface of his consciousness, until a new pressure - the desperate need to breathe - forces his eyes open and his body to move. His eyes snap open, a sharp inhale fills the inside of the cocoon, and his hands reach out towards the wall of cocoon surrounding him, first pressing and then tearing at the soft flesh surrounding him.
In his current state, weak and weary, it takes time (too much time) to claw open a small hole and rip it bigger and bigger. Sap oozes out, followed by a sticky fist, and then there's the growing sound of ripping and tearing as the cocoon gives way to the weight of a human body as it tumbles and falls from its enclosure, coughing and wheezing as various internal systems remember how to function once more.
[ Welcome back, Eustace, even if there's nothing celebratory about the atmosphere he returns to.
At the sound of the cocoon finally tearing open, Dokja stirs, his face lifting to stare at the hole growing wider and wider. It takes a second for his sleep deprived mind to kick into gear, and then he's scrambling forward on his hands and knees, only finally making it to his feet when Eustace tumbles out. It's Dokja's turn to catch the other man now, but there's no strength in his legs to support them both, so down he goes, still clinging to Eustace. He doesn't make a sound, doesn't care about the sap now dirtying his clothes, he just keeps both arms wrapped tight around Eustace.
There's a hard lump in Dokja's throat that makes it hard for him to even swallow around it, let alone speak, so he keeps quiet as he closes his eyes and tucks his face against the crook of Eustace's neck. He'd missed him so much... It had just been a week, but left alone with only his thoughts for company, it had felt like several lifetimes. He trembles and shakes, but he doesn't have any more tears to spare in this moment.
So excuse him for just kneeling there, holding on to Eustace like a lifeline, as a cacophony of emotions slam into the both of them. There's relief, guilt, sadness, anger, happiness, despair... And so much more. Too much more, difficult to separate and tell apart with how overwhelming they all are, but Dokja doesn't have the energy to keep himself in check right now. ]
[ Sometimes your boyfriend gives you the cold shoulder for a week and you don't figure out why until an uninvolved third party tells you the truth.
Which is to say that after talking to D (and also after taking a hard-earned nap), it's time for Eustace to track Dokja down wherever he may be, a characteristically sober expression on his face. It's probably a good thing he always has resting bitch face, because hypothetically it means that it's not so alarming whenever he has to shift from a normal conversation to an Actually Serious conversation.
Maybe. ]
Can we talk?
[ Maybe he should have opened with something different. ]
[ Dokja's never too far from Eustace as of late, and it's fairly easy to track him down in the kitchen as he grabs a glass of water. Now that Eustace is back, Dokja's at least started to look after himself again, and while there's still some work to be done in getting back to 100%, he's well on his way.
It shows in the way he's become more expressive rather than dead-eyed, and surprise flickers across his face when he sees Eustace come into the kitchen. The chiding to go back to bed that had been at the tip of his tongue dies as soon as Eustace asks to talk, and Dokja's eyebrows scrunch together in concern. ]
Is something wrong?
[ He's immediately looking Eustace up and down for any signs of distress!!! ]
[ Hello... Gray leaves a present for Dokja to find, maybe in front of his bedroom in the time after Eustace has already started puttering around the house. Inside it contains: a pair of highly plush slippers, a little bag of English fudge, and a card. The card reads:
Mr Dokja,
Thank you again for letting me stay here, and always being so kind. It's strange to say, but I'm grateful my house got destroyed by giant tree roots.
I also added a few books to our bookcase you might enjoy. If you read them, please let me know what you think.
Merry Christmas! Gray
[ One side of the card contains a simple brush drawing of Norangie wearing a Christmas hat.
To their house bookshelf, Gray has added a few books involving mysteries in fantasy/sci-fi settings — ranging from old-school Earth classics like Isaac Asimov's The Caves of Steel to a Kenos-bred book about a wizard who is repeatedly murdered, hopping bodies after each death until he can find his own murderer. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
????, like a week after cave escape
But mostly, he thinks about people. Of people long lost to him, and people on the verge of being lost to him. And, ever so briefly, of near-strangers who have entered and exited his life, annoying in all the worst ways. He said he hadn't cared, but that look in his eyes had implied otherwise.
Eustace ought to know. He's worn that self-same look too many times in the past. ]
Why did you care so much?
[ He doesn't mean it as a communion message but the feeling of it drifts anyway, his usual self-control loosened by the fuzz of exhaustion.
and also because i need an excuse to communion, so sue me ]
bestie 🥺
But tonight starts out different, and he's startled when a different voice enters his mind. It takes him a long, drawn out moment to recognize it, and when he does, he's left bewildered.
... Eustace?
This is the last person he'd thought would reach out to him, especially after how they'd parted ways. They haven't seen each other since, and while Dokja has occasionally wondered about him, he's been preoccupied with... too much.
When he finally answers, shard held between his hands, it's defensive. Cagey. Wary and sharp. ]
Care about what?
[ But there's a note of vulnerability present that he isn't able to fully conceal. ]
can't wait for this to crash and burn in two tags
i will NOT
really sad this is before the shittalking post, i played myself
guess he'll just have to message dokja again
no??? it's dokja's turn next
that is true........
:)
(no subject)
pours one out for this thread
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day after April TDM, Godsblood
the poor man's face is still a mess of discolored bruises, but at least he's cleaned up of blood and grime from the day prior and hopefully feeling more human after a decent night's sleep. whenever Dokja's eyes part to find the sunlight already pouring in the window, he'll also find a certain silver-haired man having dragged a chair to his bedside, nursing a cup of some warm beverage in his hands and another on the bedside table.
a quiet reprieve before the priest notices his ward is awake... a rare moment of Quiet in Abel Nightroad's company. enjoy it, ]
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So he at least feels better rested than before when his eyes slowly blink open, and while his tender face and dully aching head remind him of what he'd just gone through, they're easy to ignore. He has, unfortunately, been through worse. It's more the reminders of how he'd lost his grip on reality that come back to haunt him, and he flinches as the memories slowly filter back into his head. How embarrassing.
And he isn't alone to drown himself in his shame and misery either. There's no ignoring the man seated by his bed, and Dokja has Feared this moment. Knew that it was coming, yet he's so wholly unprepared for it. ]
... Hey.
[ Let's start off light and easy. ]
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communion; a week-ish after problem children spat turns violent at lovers shrine
It's the closest thing to a courtesy heads-up the other side can afford him, given what's happened and their positions. But he knows that... feeling, doesn't he? He's communicated with this presence before, they're not strangers. Maybe he can tell who it is if he focuses hard enough, but if he doesn't, that's fine too. He DID more or less get a panic attack the last time he became aware of this person, so he could hardly be blamed for wanting to stay ignorant, hm? Does he REALLY want to dig his shard out for this? Understandable too, if he just keeps it where it normally stays lodged.]
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There's nothing in return for a long stretch of time, enough of it to make anyone think they were being ignored, but then there's a faint response. A dull, muffled pulse through their connection, slow and hesitant.
Dokja doesn't much like this method of communication. It's too easy to let his emotions slip past the barriers he'd carefully set in place for himself with his mental state as fragile as it is to have any control over what he feels, and this makes him wary, almost afraid of using this ability.
Even more so now when he knows who it is on the other end of the line.
But he's reminded of her help from before, of what Abel had told him about her sudden appearance at the Lovers shrine, and while he doesn't remove his stone just yet, he does tentatively reach out in return. Not a greeting, not a question, just an acknowledgement that he knows she's there. ]
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There's a lot to feel about what Ernesto happened to stumble across happening between Dokja and Gen, but whatever he's feeling probably pales in comparison to what Dokja himself is feeling. Last time these two fought, Ernesto had come to find Dokja in person to keep him from avoiding a conversation.
This time he doesn't have a choice. He can't be seen with Dokja anymore. Not in Godsblood at any rate. ]
Mr. Dokja? I hope you're not hurt...
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Dokja doesn't answer.
There's not even a hint that he receives the message, not a stir or a whisper of emotion that reaches back. It's just... a silence. Dokja is clearly there because otherwise his absence would be felt, but he has, for the most part, shut down. ]
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action - sometime after gen & dokja's happy-time godsblood date;
and if there is no answer -- another knock followed by a quiet, ]
Mr. Dokja?
[ from the other side. ]
uh oh
It doesn't last very long. Dokja's anxiety spikes enough that it can be felt even past a wall, and he nervously closes the book to set it aside before getting to his feet.
At the door, he pauses. He's got an idea of why Abel is here and... he doesn't know if he can face it. Face him. ]
... Ernesto told you?
[ So for now, he decides to hide behind the door. ]
(kratos voice) boy,
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early july, after gen & abel (sorry dokja)
Dokja? It's Himeka. We met a while ago at the lodestone.
[ You know, in case he forgot the woman that healed him and then knocked him out for bed rest. ]
no i'm sorry himeka
Himeka. Of course. How have you been?
[ He's at least not as depressed as before thanks to his trip with Abel, so...! Progress? ]
how's it going son are ya winning
if by winning you mean losing then yes he is doing that
yeah good think it's opposite day!
y-yeah...... good thing.....
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communion, day before raid
he just makes a connection and doesn’t say anything. sometimes you’re wondering if your ex is asleep… y’know… that’s normal, right? ]
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But also what the heck. It's three in the morning....... ]
... Yoo Joonghyuk?
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communion, day before raid
WAKE UP
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I'm already awake.
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communion; back-dated to july i guess; i am so tired
welcome
He'll let go of Abel's wrist to dig out his own shard to quickly answer. ]
—I tried to stop him!
[ Glances down at Abel with Conflicted Feelings... The Martyr connection they have is being weird. That hand is still on Abel's mouth, though. ]
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1/ sighs
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okay you're free of me too now
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it's november now, i do what i want; communion
Did we actually kiss?
[ Would it kill Eustace to say hi for once in his life? Apparently. HSY better not be gaslighting him....... ]
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[ The answer is instantaneous and said in such a firm way that it could border on the truth...
If not for the way Dokja's emotions spike in alarm and embarrassment as his memories overtake him, crossing the thin barrier between their Communion to share itself with Eustace. After certain events, Dokja's found that he isn't able to control his memories and what he chooses to show, so that's biting him in the ass now as Eustace gets to catch a up close and personal view of their accidental "kiss."
... Wait a minute. Why is this even being asked? Does Eustace have amnesia?? ]
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communion i guess
Did you end up making it home safely?
[ or did dokja find another man to mack on....if so i support him ]
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An absolutely embarrassed mess.
It takes a while for him to respond because he's so busy battling his emotions to keep them at a calm, even tempo. This should be easy! He rarely bats an eyelash at most things! But he's also never had another man's tongue down his throat, so. He hates how horrible these Communions are for his avoidance behavior....... ]
Yeah, I got back in one piece. [ This is a normal conversation. ] What about you?
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can i just action in the inbox
They're the same aspect now, aren't they? Laughable in so many colors. It doesn't take some foreign, invasive connection for Dokja to sense Joonghyuk watching him with muddled emotions. His gaze stays affixed onto his back, following wherever Dokja travels, taking notes on every little shift and fidget. ]
:}
But it's really, really difficult to go about his usual activities when he is being so blatantly stared at, a slow annoyance prickling against the connection their Aspect offers them, so Dokja finally turns around to face his offender. ]
What's on my back that's so interesting?
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sighs tiredly, april event
So he begrudgingly takes the bed and tries to ignore the way his guilt only grows in proportion to how long the list of Things He Owes Dokja For is. Some of it he manages to alleviate by helping around the house, though with how often he's out trying to aid the rest of Springstar's inhabitants, the time he actually spends indoors is pathetically little. If nothing else though, the exhaustion from a long day's work means he falls asleep relatively quickly each night, mind largely empty until the next morning.
Except tonight, when his mind decides that it's had enough of peaceful nothingness. Although, strangely, he doesn't ever remember having this dream before.... ]
:}
The landscape before Eustace is dismal, cracked ground and red, ashy skies. It looks as though something had razed the very foundations of the earth, scorched it to a nothingness that spans for miles and miles and miles. But on closer inspection, a silhouette kneels in the distance, shoulders slumped and head hanging, the white of his coat stained red at the ends. Should Eustace approach, he'll find a familiar face.
Too bad that Dokja doesn't look up or even acknowledge the other man's presence, his despondent, dark gaze trained on a body lying in front of him as his scarred hands hold on to an even more scarred hand. It's Yoo Joonghyuk, pale and lifeless, with a clean stab wound that puddles blood where Dokja kneels. An unfamiliar sight for Eustace, but one that rings in haunting memories for Dokja, at the panic that had consumed him and stolen away his breath. He'd been sent into a frenzy back then, static noise in his mind as anxiety had gripped him by the throat with all its strength, but it's strange now... He distantly remembers this differently.
But with the nightmare doing its work, it's difficult to tell what's real or not, and the only thing Dokja can do in this moment is hopelessly stare down at the man he'd thought to be untouchable. ]
puts my hand over this timestamp
does the same
WHY DID MY FINGERS BETRAY ME LIKE THAT
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communion, dated to [static noises]
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Hello?
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shortly after beach episode...
Um... Excuse me, signore? It's Rudbeckia. [ there is no de Borgia. she is already digging that girl's grave to bury her in. ] We've met before, though it was only brief, so I would understand if you don't remember me... I'm sorry to bother you, but I wondered if I could ask you for— a-a favour?
[ she cannot bring herself to say the word help. ]
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... Well, he could always ask. ]
Ah, Miss Rudbeckia. Hello. [ His own tone is pleasant, like this is just a normal catch up between two acquaintances! ] What can I do for you?
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action
The months may pass and the bustling city of Springstar may have changed, but his feet lead him where they always have in the past, to the front door of the modest house he used to live in before things went topsy turvy. Unfortunately he has no key and the route back has been filled with enough differences that he's not sure if the house in front of him even qualifies as home anymore. Maybe Dokja and Gray moved out. Maybe, like him, they vanished at some point and (unlike him) never came back. There's only one way to check, and if it turns out there's a stranger on the other side, then at least he'll know.
Lifting his hand, he knocks on the front door twice, an unfamiliar knot of apprehension settling in his throat. A little too late, he realizes that he probably should have found a public bath to wash off in first. Sorry, ya man looks like a mess, covered in dirt and grime and a few streaks of blood. ]
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When Raisin suddenly lifts his head up from where he'd been lying, Dokja doesn't pay the dog any attention, and when Raisin lets out a soft boof, Dokja distractedly shushes him. It's only when he hears the knocks on the door that he finally looks up, watching as Raisin practically sprints (it's a light jog but for a big animal like him, it's basically a full gallop) to the door. Strange, Dokja thinks as he sets his book aside on the arm of the couch and rises to a stand. Raisin is usually more mild-mannered than this.
He follows the dog to the door and isn't thinking much of anything, doesn't even check the peephole, as he opens it. It takes a second for him to register who it is he's seeing, and while Raisin may be excitedly bumping his head against their visitor's legs, Dokja can only stare, wide-eyed and mouth slightly agape, at Eustace who stands in front of him. ]
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action. sept. i'm typing this on mobile just for you
Gray's out on another one of her Alenroux excursions, hardworking to the cause as she always is. The house still feels full though, the chickens snoozing in the backyard while Raisin snoozes at the foot of the couch. The clatter of dishes in the sink fills the air as Eustace finishes post-dinner clean-up, and Dokja lounges on the couch with yet another book. It's idyllic. Peaceful.
Or it would be, if Dokja didn't look like absolute dogshit.
Somehow things have gotten progressively worse with him even after returning from Highstorm. Eustace has a suspicion as to why, his post-return conversation with Gray always present at the back of his mind, but he'd held onto the vain hope that Dokja would have brought it up of his own volition eventually. No dice. Clearly he's going to have to take matters into his own hands.
He turns off the tap. Heads over to the couch. Proceeds to stare at Dokja for way too long before he finally speaks up. ]
Were you ever going to tell me?
[ Once again he doesn't bother with any preamble, diving straight into the conversation without any sort of context. ]
:3 APPRECIATES U
He's even having a hard time making out the letters in his book, and no amount of adjusting the glasses sitting on his face make them any clearer. He's so deeply concentrating on just trying to read a single sentence that he doesn't notice that the clatter of dishes has stopped, the tap shut off, and that Eustace is standing over him until the silence between them is broken.
Dokja blinks up in surprise, caught off-guard because he hadn't been paying attention, though no part of him is confused by the question. He had known Eustace would find out eventually, partly because of Dokja's rapidly declining state doing him no favors, but also by guessing that Gray was aware of what had occurred with him and Rin. So then, it was only a matter of time before Eustace and Gray would speak, leading to... this.
With a quiet sigh, Dokja shuts the book and sits up on the couch. He could play stupid, the way he so often does, but he doesn't. What would be the point of that? And after everything he's already put Eustace through? ]
Sit down. You're too tall for me to be looking up at you from here.
[ He's not trying to add an aching neck on top of everything else, and Dokja pats the spot next to him. ]
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gets distracted by the dostace gay instead of doing my tag
As much as he hates people busting into his mind place without warning, he is not opposed to doing it himself; however, there is not rush really.
So Dokja gets the equivalent of 🧍♂️ outside of his mind. This weirdly looming, gloomy, terribly dark sort of aura rumbling like a storm cloud there at the edge, looking for entry, ringing the door bell. Let him in! It's familiar, and yet, the depth of this aura does not match who it brings to mind.
Especially not when Dokja got to see him as a drawn-up child with short, wild hair.]
puts my hands over your eyes
There's some surprise on Dokja's end since he hadn't been expecting this, even though he really should have. Just... a lot's been happening recently, and he's never really been the best at keeping all his ducks in a row.
Once the connection is made, something about Dokja seems different. Gone is that sickly exhaustion that had weighed him down for all those months, and when he answers the call, it's straight to concern. ]
D? Are you okay?
NO
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😽
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But he can't think about the pain as he stares at Mordred, completely aghast by her running around on all fours. ]
What are you doing!?
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ask boba what the chickens names are btw
ALL TRISTANS?
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a memory—
As a Shard-Bearer opens the door of their home, they’re greeted with shouts of “Surprise!” that almost have them unleash the deadliest of their spells, but it’s quickly replaced by warm, teary laughter. Their friends really remembered their offhand comment that they’d never had a surprise birthday party?
[ ooc note — Just to avoid OOC confusion/misinterpretation, the details included in this memory are random and are not necessarily interconnected or plot meaningful beyond a surface level. However, your character is free to interpret this random memory however they’d like! This event will also be touched on somewhat during today’s NPC Communion Post. ]
🧍♂️
The point is Eustace coerced him emotionally into not allowing Dokja to go any longer without knowing a vampire has been invited into their home.
He isn't the type to ever casually offer up the fact he is a dhampir; he does not hide it, but only speaks about it when the conversation makes it necessary. Apparently Dokja's idiocy makes it necessary.
He comes to casually haunt the door of whatever room Dokja has decided to inhabit on this day before whenever the Oracle destroys them. Two of the cats have followed him out of curiosity, and they are likewise ghostly in their presence of the bottom doorframe. D does not say anything which is stupid and rude.
He really just stands there with purpose.]
:3
He does not know about the bite on Eustace's neck, because imagine honesty. Imagine open communication. Imagine Dokja putting two and two together for once in his life.
Even now, it takes a second longer than it really should for him to notice D standing in the doorway, and it's only when Dokja flips a page that he chances a look up, and then his shoulders jump in surprise, his eyes wide for just a moment before they narrow accusingly. ]
... We should put a bell on you.
[ Hi, D. ]
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bones creak as i return from hell month
YOUR MONTH
THIS DOUBLE WHAMMY IN MY INBOX
😊
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drops this in while i'm also here (harbinger oracle time)
A small, fuzzy little guy looks up at Dokja from center chest.
But bizarrely, in D's quiet, low voice, it says:]
Something has happened to Eustace. I'm looking for his Shard. I'm sorry.
[Sadly, the bat can only repeat these few sentences, but it is very cute while it remains stuck to Dokja's clothes.]
D:
And then the actual bomb drops.
Dokja immediately stills and the sword in his other hand clatters to the ground as he shakily uses both hands to pry the little bat from his front to bring it closer to his face. He can't even think about how odd it is to hear D's voice come from the small animal's mouth, the rest of the world and everything with it fading away as his breaths shorten in distress. ]
What do you mean his Shard? Is he... is he dead?
[ Just asking that places a sharp ache in his chest, and Dokja is finding it more and more difficult to breathe. When all he gets is the same repeated sentences, he has to reach out for the nearest wall to steady himself, his surroundings suddenly spinning as he succumbs to his panic.
... It takes a while, but eventually, Dokja manages to pull himself together just enough to send a terror-laced Communion to D. ]
Who did it?
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action. smiles at the above threads
Unlike Dokja, Eustace has never died before (that he remembers) and so the whole experience is new to him. Every ache of his muscles that build and build, nagging at his attention more and more, and every scattered disjointed thought that fills his mind like some sort of eerie dream. The more the pressure builds the more he's dragged to the surface of his consciousness, until a new pressure - the desperate need to breathe - forces his eyes open and his body to move. His eyes snap open, a sharp inhale fills the inside of the cocoon, and his hands reach out towards the wall of cocoon surrounding him, first pressing and then tearing at the soft flesh surrounding him.
In his current state, weak and weary, it takes time (too much time) to claw open a small hole and rip it bigger and bigger. Sap oozes out, followed by a sticky fist, and then there's the growing sound of ripping and tearing as the cocoon gives way to the weight of a human body as it tumbles and falls from its enclosure, coughing and wheezing as various internal systems remember how to function once more.
But hey, he's alive! 🥳 ]
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At the sound of the cocoon finally tearing open, Dokja stirs, his face lifting to stare at the hole growing wider and wider. It takes a second for his sleep deprived mind to kick into gear, and then he's scrambling forward on his hands and knees, only finally making it to his feet when Eustace tumbles out. It's Dokja's turn to catch the other man now, but there's no strength in his legs to support them both, so down he goes, still clinging to Eustace. He doesn't make a sound, doesn't care about the sap now dirtying his clothes, he just keeps both arms wrapped tight around Eustace.
There's a hard lump in Dokja's throat that makes it hard for him to even swallow around it, let alone speak, so he keeps quiet as he closes his eyes and tucks his face against the crook of Eustace's neck. He'd missed him so much... It had just been a week, but left alone with only his thoughts for company, it had felt like several lifetimes. He trembles and shakes, but he doesn't have any more tears to spare in this moment.
So excuse him for just kneeling there, holding on to Eustace like a lifeline, as a cacophony of emotions slam into the both of them. There's relief, guilt, sadness, anger, happiness, despair... And so much more. Too much more, difficult to separate and tell apart with how overwhelming they all are, but Dokja doesn't have the energy to keep himself in check right now. ]
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action.........again.
Which is to say that after talking to D (and also after taking a hard-earned nap), it's time for Eustace to track Dokja down wherever he may be, a characteristically sober expression on his face. It's probably a good thing he always has resting bitch face, because hypothetically it means that it's not so alarming whenever he has to shift from a normal conversation to an Actually Serious conversation.
Maybe. ]
Can we talk?
[ Maybe he should have opened with something different. ]
oh naur
It shows in the way he's become more expressive rather than dead-eyed, and surprise flickers across his face when he sees Eustace come into the kitchen. The chiding to go back to bed that had been at the tip of his tongue dies as soon as Eustace asks to talk, and Dokja's eyebrows scrunch together in concern. ]
Is something wrong?
[ He's immediately looking Eustace up and down for any signs of distress!!! ]
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pretend it's xmas
Mr Dokja,
Thank you again for letting me stay here, and always being so kind. It's strange to say, but I'm grateful my house got destroyed by giant tree roots.
I also added a few books to our bookcase you might enjoy. If you read them, please let me know what you think.
Merry Christmas!
Gray
[ One side of the card contains a simple brush drawing of Norangie wearing a Christmas hat.
To their house bookshelf, Gray has added a few books involving mysteries in fantasy/sci-fi settings — ranging from old-school Earth classics like Isaac Asimov's The Caves of Steel to a Kenos-bred book about a wizard who is repeatedly murdered, hopping bodies after each death until he can find his own murderer. ]