[ It's such an exceptionally simple answer, but it's an answer that he needs to hear. He had tried to convince himself of the very same thing, but the frequency of the way he'd balk or drop his defenses enough to let the doubt creep in had effectively broken down his reasons.
However, what comes next is something he hadn't really considered. Whenever the idea of living had come to mind, it had always been for others. The sake of others. In particular, the handful of people that Dokja has come to love. He had never once thought of living for himself, for the day to day of what might come for him. It had always been chapter updates, then the story, then the characters, then... the people.
"You don't need to have everything figured out."
Doesn't he?
Isn't that... how he'd gotten this far? Doing everything on his own, planning every step of the way forward, poring over the finest details to make sure things would go according to the blueprint? Ah, his head hurts. It hurts in a different way, makes it clear there's an emptiness present that will never go filled. Never... Never...?
Why couldn't this new memory, this one with Abel who is trying so hard for Dokja's sake, go there...? ]
What I'm looking for... [ he murmurs as he echoes the sentiment. And then there's a shift in his gaze, as if realizing what this all means. ] I can take my time finding it. Like you said.
no subject
However, what comes next is something he hadn't really considered. Whenever the idea of living had come to mind, it had always been for others. The sake of others. In particular, the handful of people that Dokja has come to love. He had never once thought of living for himself, for the day to day of what might come for him. It had always been chapter updates, then the story, then the characters, then... the people.
"You don't need to have everything figured out."
Doesn't he?
Isn't that... how he'd gotten this far? Doing everything on his own, planning every step of the way forward, poring over the finest details to make sure things would go according to the blueprint? Ah, his head hurts. It hurts in a different way, makes it clear there's an emptiness present that will never go filled. Never... Never...?
Why couldn't this new memory, this one with Abel who is trying so hard for Dokja's sake, go there...? ]
What I'm looking for... [ he murmurs as he echoes the sentiment. And then there's a shift in his gaze, as if realizing what this all means. ] I can take my time finding it. Like you said.