does a sick backflip

[salvageable]

imagine if i made things look nice 🥴

Comments

[regression]

[ Fortunately for Dokja is that Joonghyuk didn't return to his room with salad and boiled chicken breast. Instead, the wafting aroma is pollock soup. He can see it and a number of side dishes on the tray Joonghyuk ferries to the nightstand beside the bed, hot enough for steam to trail up. The same can be said about the coffee cup, which is accompanied by a cup of mineral water and a small tray of sugar cubes.

Once Joonghyuk pulls over the overbed desk, breakfast is officially offered and presented upon it. It makes it easier to realize that these portions are... Large. Dokja should be able to tell that these aren't the usual servings from the cafeteria. ]

You took too long.

[ For the moment Joonghyuk lingers, he catches Dokja's glance. In comparison, he's doing well... But his handsome face can persevere any sign of stress or mental illness. Han Sooyoung wrote him that way. There is an otherworldly weariness in his dark gaze, one that Dokja does not know, and they narrow as he studies his pallid face.

... The unfamiliarity goes both ways. Joonghyuk sees a different Dokja, but he knew this would happen since the start of his intergalactic journey.

It's still Joonghyuk, so perhaps Dokja can—not read—see him. He can see how his gaze softens now, how it narrowed earlier out of concern. Or he can deny it if it's too much to accept. ]

You didn't sleep well?

[ Don't mind if he takes a seat nearby. Nothing in his hands, no phone or book, his attention is on the other man and their conversation. Joonghyuk, no longer in his usual attire, looks like a simple man. How weird is that? ]

[salvageable]

[ Not all that weird. To Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk will always be Yoo Joonghyuk, and despite the plain clothes and the quieter gaze, he still elicits a warm familiarity that cuts across otherwise foreign surroundings. It's hard to believe that after everything, they've still found a way to each other, but maybe that had just been Dokja who had convinced himself it was impossible.

He drops his gaze down on the tray in front of him, smile disappearing as his gut does a strange twist at how much care was taken with each item. He doesn't understand the mounting guilt that rises from his chest and creates a hard lump in his throat, doesn't understand why he feels both present in this room yet somewhere else. Somewhere far away. Dokja had been made whole again, the gaps in his memory filled, new memories nudging each other aside for space, and he feels overwhelmed by it all.

This is where he belongs, he tells himself. But for a year and a half, he'd belonged elsewhere.

Quietly, he reaches for the sugar cubes, deliberately delaying his response to Joonghyuk's question as he drops the cubes into the cup of coffee one by one. It's probably too much, but better that it be too sweet than too bitter. ]

... Still getting used to the differences in days, I guess.

[ As he stirs his coffee, he finally looks up to meet Joonghyuk's gaze with a distant one of his own. ]

You remember Springstar, don't you? We didn't have nights back there.

[regression]

[ Only one person here is uncomfortable. Joonghyuk himself is content and placated—scowl less intense, frown less disapproving, it may be the closest thing to happiness he has felt in a long while. Dokja is where he belongs. After so many years, another regression against the scenarios, and another era without him, the man who held the answer to what it means to survive and live breathes before him.

They can set out all they wanted to do in a world without scenarios, whether it be picnics by the Han river, visits to PC bangs, attending graduation ceremonies... They can lead normal lives. Joonghyuk's chest swells with warmth as these vivid daydreams wind in his mind. This is the conclusion they deserve and it feels right.

... At least, it should. ]

I do, but for Han Sooyoung and I that was years ago.

[ His memory is a curse and the amnesia granted to him before might have been a blessing. Leaning back into his seat, he crosses his legs, but his expression stays neutral as his emotions still like water. Perhaps snuffed is a better word with every purpose to obscure and hide. ]

You're still thinking about that place.

[ Even though you're finally home. ]