does a sick backflip

[salvageable]

imagine if i made things look nice 🥴

Comments

[malewife]

[ You NAP in your work clothes? Purposely? Joonghyuk is right here and he watches Dokja commit to this in front of him. Sure, Joonghyuk doesn’t really need to wear stiff salaryman clothing for work, but he knows how uncomfortable they are.

He glowers at him the whole time, waiting for Dokja to catch his glare and Realize that he’s committing domestic crimes.

It doesn’t work.

Before Biyoo can go settle against Dokja and protect him from his wrath, Joonghyuk rips off the covers. ]

[salvageable]

[ HELLO?

Dokja lets out the most undignified squawk of surprise when the covers are ripped from him. What the hell? He was using that?? ]

Joonghyuk?

[ What wrongs has he committed NOW to be mistreated this way. ]

[malewife]

Take off your clothes.

[ This sure is a demand. This is fake domestic au, but Joonghyuk is still himself which is either insane or majorly incorrigible.

Sometimes they’re the same thing. ]

[salvageable]

[ Huh? 😵‍💫 HUH?? WHAT..... ]

Are we...? Right now?

[ His voice anxiously pitches higher and higher with every word. There is clearly a misunderstanding happening here and he does Not move to take off his clothes.

"Why have we never had sex" asks Kim Dokja who is pre-panic attack at being told to undress. ]

[malewife]

[ WHY IS DOKJA INSANE?Joonghyuk’s eyebrows furrow as Dokja squirms. He doesn’t get why he’s acting this way?

There is a big misunderstanding here. ]

What? Are you going to go back to work?

[ Since you’re STILL wearing your smelly work clothes?? This is a warning before Joonghyuk will take it upon himself to undress Dokja. He isn’t embarrassed—they’re both guys, even if he’s written to be gay for him. ]

[salvageable]

[ There is a weird garbled noise coming from the back of Dokja's throat that sounds an awful lot like a suppressed scream as he panic grabs Joonghyuk's hands to stop them. ]

I-I'm tired! I have a headache!

[ What is this?? This atmosphere isn't even romantic or sexy? His head is SPINNING as he searches for every excuse in the book... ]

We... we... we don't have condoms!

[malewife]

[ Just…

This face? What the fuck? He’s speechless. ]

[salvageable]

[ Oh No, is Joonghyuk mad about being blueballed... 😔 ]

We... can buy some tomorrow?

[malewife]

I have condoms—[ Wait. That isn't the point and he shakes off that logic?

He drags Dokja closer by the ankle. ]

You thought I wanted to have sex?

[ After Dokja told him he has a migraine? ]

[salvageable]

[ UuuUUMMMMmmm there's a lot going on. He doesn't know where to start.

For now, he grabs his shirt to keep it from riding up when he's pulled closer, and his expression darkens at the question. So. He's starting to realize that he may have been thinking Stupidly. ]

... You told me to take off my clothes.

[ And they had just been talking about sex not too long ago........ ]

[malewife]

That's right. You shouldn't nap in your work clothes.

[ Dokja really thought stupidly. Now that he has pulled him closer, basically having dragged him to the edge of the bed... Let him clarify. He should have done this earlier, but he thought Dokja understood. ]

They're uncomfortable.

[salvageable]

[ Ah.............. you know what..... that. that makes a lot of sense.

He can't even say anything, can't even make eye contact as he sits up and starts unbuttoning his shirt.

Why is he allowed to exist? He heavily contemplates asking Joonghyuk to knock him unconscious to free him from this moment of embarrassment. ]

[malewife]

[ Dokja can be awkward as hell about it. Joonghyuk is brushing it off, even if this was embarrassing to him, too. He can cover it up, better.

CONCEAL, DON'T FEEL. As he undresses, Joonghyuk fetches and throws some pajama-adjacent clothes at him. I'm not going to curse Dokja into matching pj set. ]

Here.

[salvageable]

[ Matching pjs could have been so cute, though. ]

Thanks.

[ He sounds distracted as he takes the now assigned shirt and sweatpants and starts changing into them. As embarrassing as this is, Dokja has another very pressing concern at the forefront of his thoughts.

Condoms.

When had Joonghyuk bought them? Were they carried over from a previous relationship? No, wouldn't that make them too old? They've been dating for a while now...

He is Deep in thought as he finishes changing and moves back up the bed. Could he make this easier on his brain and ask? Yes, but also no. ]

[malewife]

I’ll set an alarm for an hour.

[ It takes a couple of taps on his phone to cement that.

Joonghyuk collects Dokja’s dirty work clothes and thinks about how he’s going to separate the laundry, but catches Dokja deep in thought. That is… A worrying look. How is it that he has to worry about so many of Dokja’s mannerisms and expressions…?

They really are not in the same wavelength. He cocks an eyebrow, curious but also dread. ]

What now?

[ He tosses the articles into the laundry basket. ]

[salvageable]

[ Some things are better left unsaid and in Dokja's brain where he can continue to overthink and spiral toward dreaded conclusions.

So he does not answer. Instead, he returns under the covers and shoots Joonghyuk a mysterious grin as he pats the spot next to him. ]

It's nothing.

[ Come join your favorite not-at-all-annoying person in the world in bed. ]

[malewife]

[ I COULD HAVE TAGGED THIS SO EASILY but then talking about orv consumed me. It's very tempting to come lounge beside him, maybe read a book since he isn't sleepy... But.

There is a problem and Joonghyuk stands straight up, crossing his arms to show signs that he can't. ]

I have to put away the food you didn't eat.

[ They. Left it there and Joonghyuk isn't going to let it rot. ]

[salvageable]

[ Oh, right........

You know what Dokja could do? Offer to help.

What does he do instead? He pulls the covers over his head and turns to his side. ]

Don't take too long.

[ Comes the muffled response. ]

[malewife]

[ There's like a whole second Joonghyuk waits to see if Dokja would offer help, but no. He's going to fuck off then. Biyoo stands on all fours on the bed to watch him leave, wondering if she should go, too? She looks to Dokja, then to the open door, but ends up curling up next to the lump under the sheets.

Joonghyuk doesn't take long.

But he has to eat.



By himself. This is fine

Also has to wash the dishes and let them dry, then prepare the leftovers for Dokja's lunch for tomorrow. Okay, he takes maybe twenty minutes before returning to the bed and flopping right on top of Dokja under the covers. Biyoo quickly hops away, already expecting this. ]

[salvageable]

[ Remember when he said he wasn't going to read webnovels on his phone? Yeah, he's reading a chapter update on his phone from underneath the covers...

He's so engrossed in his story that he doesn't hear the water shut off or Joonghyuk's footsteps until it's too late, and it's like getting hit with a wall of muscles? Dokja shouts some garbled nonsense in surprise when he's flopped on before he starts struggling from under the covers.

Finally, his face emerges with a gasp. ]

I was about to fall asleep!

[ No, he wasn't. ]

[malewife]

[ Joonghyuk settles beside the other man, close with an arm wrapped around his torso. It allows Biyoo to find a place to settle near her dad without fear of more roughhousing (hopefully). When Dokja pokes his head out of the sheets, Joonghyuk shoves his hand under and fishes out the infamous temptress—his beloved and enchanting smartphone.

No words. He's going to check what chapter Dokja is on. ]

[salvageable]

—Hey!

[ He tries to swipe his phone back but we all know how that goes.

It's Just Another story about a Chadly, black-haired returnee protagonist and the most recent chapter is in the 800s (salutes to s-class).....

Okay, no more looking. Dokja slaps his hand over the screen with a huff. ]

I was checking something.

[malewife]

[ He moves the phone away so he can take a peek. How hot is this protagonist? Of course Joonghyuk is comparing himself to this fictional character.

Predictably, he decides he’s better. ]

You were reading a webnovel.

[ His gaze shifts to him. How is it a man can lie so well sometimes and then lie so poorly? ]

[salvageable]

[ Better in what ways?? Not personality.

Dokja has to basically crawl across the vast expanse of Joonghyuk's chest to try and retrieve his phone. ]

I was checking on it while waiting for you.

[ Please can he have his phone back. ]

[malewife]

I know I was gone long enough for you to read five chapters.

[ Joonghyuk means at least because between them Dokja reads... Very fast. It's annoying and it's why they never read anything together. I have willed it that they tried to read the same book as an activity and Dokja always ends up finishing the chapters they allotted for each week way before Joonghyuk, then starts on another book on the side.

Annoying. ]

Go to sleep.

[ He clicks the lock button on the smartphone and places it on the nearby nightstand, right on top of the wireless charger. ]