[ The question of what Eustace is apologizing for dies in Dokja's throat, and he's barely given any time to react before there's a mouth over his own. It's familiar with them, but considering the circumstances? Considering that neither of them are under any sort of influence or crashing together in an accident?
The shock of it does the trick. One second he's gasping against Eustace's mouth, the next, he's jerking upright into a sit with a strangled noise, heart hammering away at his chest as dizziness momentarily overtakes him. And in the pitch black of the living room, it takes a good while for Dokja to reorient himself, eyes slowly adjusting to the dark as his mind races to catch up with where he is and what had just happened.
He's on the couch. A blanket now pooled in his lap. This is... his home in Springstar.
And... it had been a dream. A dream...? His fingers come up to rest against his lips as he remembers the details. Was any of it real? His gaze shifts over to the hallway, where he knows he's settled Eustace into his room for the night, and he can't help the panicked confusion that blares through their Exalt connection.
If it was all just a dream, how insane would he look waking Eustace up and asking him about that kiss? ]
[ As if Dokja hasn't done worse than ask a guy if he happend to have a dream where they made out for .2 seconds.
But luckily for him, he doesn't need to take the first step in that perilous journey. The abrupt cessation of the dream means that Eustace also ends up lurched back into wakefulness, though in a bed rather than on a couch, eyes blinking blearily into the darkness as his mind slowly catches up with the rest of his body.
As much as he'd like to go back to sleep, bits and pieces of the dream flicker through his mind as he stares up at the ceiling, the memory of Dokja looking more miserable than Eustace has ever seen stapling itself firmly in place no matter how much he tries to chase it away. Dokja's always out there trying to save everyone else. Is there anyone out there ready to save him? The thought occupies his mind as he rolls onto one side, and then the other, and then gives up entirely on trying to fall back asleep when confusion that decidedly isn't his washes over him. May as well get up. It'll bring him some peace of mind anyway to make sure Dokja's alright.
His footsteps are muffled by years of practice and by the click of the door as he opens it to step into the hallway. Hard to see anything in the gloom, but he thinks he can make out a figure propped up on the couch as he rounds the corner. ]
[ Speak of the devil... Or think of him, in this case.
Dokja immediately drops his hand from his lips, his now adjusted eyes making out Eustace's form in the opening of the hallway. He's too stunned at first to respond, but then he jerks his head in a nod before remembering that they're still in the dark, and that it'll probably be difficult to make out the motions. ]
Uh, yeah.
[ Very smooth, Kim Dokja. But rather than stress about that, he's thinking about how this is too well-timed to be a coincidence, meaning that the dream he'd just had hadn't actually been a dream. It shouldn't be that strange in the grand scheme of bullshit they've both had to go through, and Dokja's really not concerned over the mechanics of how they'd come to share a dream when he's still stuck on the fact that Eustace had kissed him to wake them up. His tendency to overthink is flaring at this time, and rather than address it, he opts instead to play coward. ]
Sorry about that, [ he says quietly, mindful that there are other people still asleep in the house. ] I'm sure you're tired. Go back to bed, Eustace.
[ While he sits here and has an existential crisis. ]
[ Realistically speaking, Dokja's right. He should go back to bed. It's late, and the Blight has taking its toll on everyone, Shardbearers included, which means he's more worn-out than he usually is, body and mind both hanging on by a thin thread.
Unfortunately for Dokja, Eustace has always been terrible at following directions when they don't appeal to him, and right now he's far more worried about Dokja's well-being than his own. Instead of turning back around and going back to bed, he stays right where he is, one hand holding his makeshift blanket cape over his shoulders while the other wraps loosely around his torso. A normal person would probably go take a seat at the foot of the couch or at least a nearby chair, but instead he opts to be the weirdo he is and remain standing several feet away. ]
Are you still worried about what happened? In your dream.
[ Reassure him that everything's fine and then maybe he'll go back to sleep. ]
[ Why does no one ever listen to Dokja's directions.
Probably because he's just as difficult to deal with! Hesitation lengthens the silence between them, with Dokja struggling to decide on how to best answer. If this question had been asked by literally anyone else, it would have been easy to lie and brush aside the concern. But he's been relatively honest with Eustace these days, and with the lack of consequences or judgement for that honesty, he's not really seeing a reason to break away from this new habit.
Sucking in a deep breath, he looks away, his fingers tightening their hold on his own blanket. ]
It's hard not to think about.
[ Even if it had only been a dream, it had still rattled Dokja to his very core, the effects that he feels even now in the dead of night. ]
[ A reasonable answer, and one he can understand and relate to as a chronic overthinker. It's just unfortunate that he has no solution to the problem, no easy distractions to offer or soothing reassurances to give. Having lived a life of relative solitude up until now, there'd never been any need to polish his skills in that area. Now he's beginning to regret it, the quiet unease emanating from Dokja eliciting a similar unease in him.
Then don't think about it is what he'd like to say, but he knows from experience doing such a thing isn't so easy. And his favored activity when he needs to empty his mind (rigorous exercise) isn't exactly optimal in the middle of the night and when it's freezing out. So.....what then?
Not thinking isn't an option but maybe they can think about something else. Talk about something else. He's silent a few more moments before abruptly changing the subject. ]
Do you still eat stories?
[ It's the first thing he thinks of, his recent conversation with Han Sooyoung as they'd been clearing out her store. ]
[ What an abrupt subject change, and one that fully catches Dokja's attention as he turns his head back toward the hall with a bewildered look. It takes a few seconds for him to catch up with what this is supposed to be, and after a brief, stunned silence, something very close to a small laugh escapes past his lips.
Really, as much as he appreciates the effort, he has to admit that it's clumsy. But in a comical, endearing sort of way. ]
You've been talking to Han Sooyoung.
[ He shifts to a more comfortable position, making it so that he's not twisting around to face Eustace as he shuffles around so that his back is against the couch cushions in a proper sit. It's not exactly the ideal for a conversation with so much distance between the two of them, but Dokja doesn't want to invite the other man next to him when the night is so late and sleep should be had by at least one of them. He'll just entertain this one question before pressing the matter again. ]
But no, not here. It doesn't work like that in this place. I have to eat normal food again.
[ What is he supposed to do, ignore her? Actually he does do that a good chunk of the time already, mostly at home, but it's not as though he can avoid her forever. Sometimes they are forced to converse and sometimes it's about strange topics such as eating stories for sustenance. It'd be harder to believe if they weren't here in a place where they can freely enter other people's dreams and illusions of the past can appear when least expected.
Maybe that's why he can talk about it like this now, as though it's some every day occurrence rather than something pulled from a wild fairy tale. ]
Do they [ is there any way to say it without sounding stupid ] taste different?
[ Do they all have different mouthfeels?? Never mind, this actually sounds stupid as hell to talk about. ]
[ The effort is honestly admirable, and Dokja feels his mood lightening at the absurdity of their conversation. To think that they could come from a hellscape of a nightmare to then talk about the taste of stories.
But he takes a moment to think about it, head tilting to the side as his gaze travels to the ceiling. There's not much to make out there, especially in the darkness, but past that wall above their heads, he imagines the sky littered with stars, each one compromised of stories that had landed them there. He thinks of his own, then the stories that he had refused to eat despite watching the other Constellations enjoy them with great relish. ]
They do, [ he finally says with a small smile. ] The ones I had tasted the best.
[ He keeps it vague, complications of how to describe the taste acting as a barrier, along with the fact that he doesn't want to keep Eustace any longer than he already has. ]
You should really get some sleep, you know. You don't have to do this. I'll be fine.
[ It might be easy to talk about strange topics like this, but in the process of doing so he's made acutely aware of how different their lives have been and how vast the gap in life experience is between them. How can he hope to understand a man who's watched the destruction of countless worlds, who eats stories instead of fruits and vegetables, and who's suffered enough that he feels the need to prepare and hoard for any possible emergency?
At the end of the day, he can't. There are some things he'll never be able to fully relate to (even if part of him wishes he could). All he can do is make sure the person underneath all those experiences is taken care of, and to make sure he doesn't crumble from the weight of all the burdens resting heavy on his shoulders. If that means standing out here in the pitch black cold being an immovable asshole, then so be it. ]
Will you? [ Forgive him if he sounds doubtful after everything he's just seen. ] It shouldn't be hard for you to fall back asleep then.
[ And in that case, it shouldn't be a problem if he just loiters out here until Dokja falls asleep to make sure everything's really fine then, will it? ]
Dokja's eyebrows lift in surprise, and the small smile on his face grows into somethig a little more teasing. While he understands that this is stemming from a place of concern, his first instinct is to deflect and ease up on the heaviness permeating the air between them. That's why, when he opens his mouth, he decides on being stupid. ]
Planning to watch me sleep?
[ Should have done that during the night of the masquerade rather than dip out as soon as Dokja fell asleep. ]
[ If this were a Twilight movie, he'd be Team Jacob and not Team Edward.
But, you know? That's not a bad suggestion. Maybe it's incredibly childish and incredibly stupid as far as good suggestions go, but it's not as though people are all that logical when it's the middle of the night and sleep deprivation is dragging them down.
Other things being (very quietly) dragged over: a chair that Eustace deposits on the other side of the coffee table across the couch, which he promptly takes a seat in, one leg crossing over the other. ]
Sure.
[ This is where he lives now until Dokja falls asleep. Hopefully no one else wakes up for a midnight snack and sees these two weirdos staring at each other in the dark. ]
[ Here come the crickets as Dokja stares at Eustace's face like he's trying to figure out if this is a joke or not. It's hard to tell when such a stoic (handsome) face is all he's got to work off of, and so after a few seconds, Dokja gives up.
The day he learns to read people is the day civilization collapses.
Anyway, it's kind of unfair that he's been telling Eustace to go to sleep and gotten nothing for his efforts, only for the other man to turn around and do the same to him now. They're obviously both exhausted, it's the middle of the night, and they've both come from a stressful nightmare. It feels like there's only one correct answer for this situation.
So Dokja, with all the grace and care of a man deprived of sleep and coming down from adrenaline both good and bad, suggests the normally unsuggestable. ]
It's precisely because he's sleep-deprived that the suggestion lands entirely the wrong way. Instead of the literal meaning of sleep together, his mind imagines a callback to their time at the masquerade and it takes far too long for his common sense to kick in and smother the burst of bewilderment he feels, replacing it instead with the more likely meaning.
As if Dokja (the career bottom) would ever suggest anything else other than the literal.
This is hardly the first time he's shared a bed with a man, but the suggestion feels different this time, a prickle of awareness lodging itself into the back of his mind. This seems like a dangerous road to go down, but no worse than both of them engaging in a game of sleep chicken.
Still. ]
We're not going to both fit on the couch.
[ Unless they really squeeze together, but that's a whole different can of worms. ]
[ The gears in his head are turning, but not in a perverse way much to the dismay of this rper. If he can get the both of them to bed, Dokja figures it won't take very long for Eustace to fall asleep, and then he can slip out and go back to brooding in the dark.
Yes, it's an excellent plan. Absolutely foolproof. ]
My bed's wide enough to fit us both.
[ It's taking everything in him not to think about the last time they were on a bed together. But this is different because no one's swallowed a bunch of aphrodisiac, and that had just been a one-time thing... Nothing about their current circumstances is the same, and this is what Dokja uses to rationalize his decision. He's always been good about making excuses, after all. ]
Come on.
[ Without further delay, Dokja drapes his own blanket over his shoulders and stands, waiting for Eustace to get up and lead the way back to the bedroom. ]
[ His bed? He really thinks his bed is a good idea???
Well, why wouldn't it be? There'd be more space, a mattress would be far more comfortable than the couch, and if there are any reservations flitting through his mind about being in a bed (again) with Dokja, then that's a personal problem he's just going to have to deal with. It's not as though any of the circumstances from before are present now, after all. The only thing out of place are his own traitorous feelings, and if he's learned anything from past experience, it's that feelings get messy and he's better off burying them until there's nothing left. May as well start now.
So he sighs. Finally gets up from his chair. ]
Fine. You better not kick in your sleep though.
[ Since he didn't stick around long enough last time to find out. ]
[ What a thing to think about as they make their way to the bedroom. It certainly gets Dokja's mind off of other troublesome thoughts, so that helps. ]
I don't know if I do.
[ He's never really shared a bed before, so no one's been able to tell him if he's a kicker?
Anyway, it doesn't take them very long to get to his room since it's literally right there in the hall. It's probably the combination of exhaustion and the allure of lying in a familiar bed (even for just a short while), but Dokja wastes no time in dropping down on the mattress, face first against his pillow. The way every single muscle in his body immediately relaxes could send him into a deep sleep right then and there, but he fights the urges and twists his face to the side, one hand extending to pat the empty spot on the bed next to him. ]
[ Glad someone's ready to drop right into bed out of the two of them.
In contrast, Eustace's movements are far more tentative, as he pauses by the bed even after Dokja invites him in. The seat he takes at the edge of the bed is careful, and the slow drag of all his limbs onto the mattress even moreso, his whole body rigid despite tiredness trying to push his muscles into a state of relaxation. (There is no way he is going to be able to sleep like this but that's okay, because the plan is definitely to get up and go pass out on the couch as soon as Dokja falls asleep.)
For now he will just. Lie there awkwardly, doing his best to roleplay as a wooden board instead of a normal human. It's fine, there's nothing wrong with this. ]
But they can't both have the same exact plan, and there's no way in hell Dokja's going to be able to execute what he'd cooked up at this rate. Not when Eustace looks so uncomfortable and awkward, which is kind of funny in Dokja's delirious state. He huffs out a quiet laugh as he shifts to his side, then yanks the covers over both of them. Seriously, what's with this atmosphere? It's not that awful to share a bed with him.
It's both cute and mildly infuriating when the blanket's pulled over him, as though he's some small child that needs to be tucked in at night. (When was the last time anyone tucked him in like this? Longer ago than he can remember, that's for sure.) He scowls up at the ceiling, offended that he needs to be told how to sleep. ]
I know how to sleep.
[ He's done it every single day of his life up until now? He's great at it, thanks. What he's not so great at is following instructions, and instead of closing his eyes as told, he also turns to his side so he can stare at Dokja. Without saying anything, like a creep.
[ The offense goes right over Dokja's head because he's immune to this sort of thing. He's also very familiar with people not listening to his instructions, so when Eustace defies his suggestion and turns to look at him instead, Dokja meets him with an unimpressed look.
Is this really something that has to get difficult?? Then again, when aren't things difficult with the two of them... ]
I'm not going to kick you, if that's what you're worried about.
[ This is a half-lie. He will most definitely kick Eustace if the other man continues to not listen to him. ]
You just said you weren't sure if you kicked or not.
[ Can Dokja at least pick a consistent story to stick to if he's going to lie like this? Damn. Put some effort in.
But it looks like someone is going to get kicked at the rate things are going, with neither of them succumbing to sleep just yet. Impressive, given how late it is and how tired they both are. ]
Go to sleep. I'll find out that way if you kick or not.
[ Also a half-lie. He will stay five minutes after Dokja falls asleep to test this theory before crawling back out to the couch. ]
[ It's truly unfortunate that both of them have a stubborn streak several miles long because they are going to get absolutely nowhere at this point.
Dokja settles for a frown, his eyebrows drawing together when his push is met with further resistance. This was actually a terrible idea, he's coming to realize, with neither side wanting to give in. It doesn't help at all that Dokja feels the threat of sleep pulling at him now that he's comfortable in a familiar bed with a cozy blanket over him.
Even so, he fights to stay awake. ]
You're so determined to watch me sleep. [ And then, a little more jokingly: ] It's not a pretty sight, you know.
[ If he wanted to see something pretty he wouldn't be here. Just kidding, Dokja is very beautiful and we all know it. ]
I don't care what you look like.
[ Dokja could drool over half the bed and Eustace would consider it nothing more than a mild inconvenience, and also maybe ammo for some light ribbing later down the line.
With a sigh, he rolls back onto his back, returning his gaze up towards the ceiling instead of the muddy outline of Dokja's face in the dark. Easier to talk to unmoving inorganic matter than another person with their own thoughts and feelings. It'd be easier too to just go to sleep as told, but he's always been a chronic overthinker and overworrier and he's still worried now about the mental well-being of the man lying next to him. ]
I just don't want you getting nightmares again.
[ Said quietly, without the usual acerbic front he puts on. Truly exhaustion makes a man so vulnerable. Maybe he should just be tired all the time. ]
[ Ah. The instant stillness in the air between them becomes very apparent, and Dokja finds himself at a loss for words. There's a million ways he could misconstrue this sentiment, and a million more excuses that come to the forefront of his thoughts of why this couldn't possibly be a genuine form of care toward him of all people, but he finds that he's too exhausted to reach for any of them.
And maybe it would be nice to think that Eustace really does worry about him, as vulnerable as that feels. ]
Oh.
[ It slips past his lips before Dokja can think to stop it, and he's suddenly grateful for how dark it is in the room and that Eustace has turned away from him, because he can most definitely feel his face heat up. In a mad scramble to save the situation, Dokja hurries to say more. ]
It wasn't so bad since... [ His voice grows quieter in embarrassment. ] Well, you showed up.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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The shock of it does the trick. One second he's gasping against Eustace's mouth, the next, he's jerking upright into a sit with a strangled noise, heart hammering away at his chest as dizziness momentarily overtakes him. And in the pitch black of the living room, it takes a good while for Dokja to reorient himself, eyes slowly adjusting to the dark as his mind races to catch up with where he is and what had just happened.
He's on the couch. A blanket now pooled in his lap. This is... his home in Springstar.
And... it had been a dream. A dream...? His fingers come up to rest against his lips as he remembers the details. Was any of it real? His gaze shifts over to the hallway, where he knows he's settled Eustace into his room for the night, and he can't help the panicked confusion that blares through their Exalt connection.
If it was all just a dream, how insane would he look waking Eustace up and asking him about that kiss? ]
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But luckily for him, he doesn't need to take the first step in that perilous journey. The abrupt cessation of the dream means that Eustace also ends up lurched back into wakefulness, though in a bed rather than on a couch, eyes blinking blearily into the darkness as his mind slowly catches up with the rest of his body.
As much as he'd like to go back to sleep, bits and pieces of the dream flicker through his mind as he stares up at the ceiling, the memory of Dokja looking more miserable than Eustace has ever seen stapling itself firmly in place no matter how much he tries to chase it away. Dokja's always out there trying to save everyone else. Is there anyone out there ready to save him? The thought occupies his mind as he rolls onto one side, and then the other, and then gives up entirely on trying to fall back asleep when confusion that decidedly isn't his washes over him. May as well get up. It'll bring him some peace of mind anyway to make sure Dokja's alright.
His footsteps are muffled by years of practice and by the click of the door as he opens it to step into the hallway. Hard to see anything in the gloom, but he thinks he can make out a figure propped up on the couch as he rounds the corner. ]
Awake?
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Dokja immediately drops his hand from his lips, his now adjusted eyes making out Eustace's form in the opening of the hallway. He's too stunned at first to respond, but then he jerks his head in a nod before remembering that they're still in the dark, and that it'll probably be difficult to make out the motions. ]
Uh, yeah.
[ Very smooth, Kim Dokja. But rather than stress about that, he's thinking about how this is too well-timed to be a coincidence, meaning that the dream he'd just had hadn't actually been a dream. It shouldn't be that strange in the grand scheme of bullshit they've both had to go through, and Dokja's really not concerned over the mechanics of how they'd come to share a dream when he's still stuck on the fact that Eustace had kissed him to wake them up. His tendency to overthink is flaring at this time, and rather than address it, he opts instead to play coward. ]
Sorry about that, [ he says quietly, mindful that there are other people still asleep in the house. ] I'm sure you're tired. Go back to bed, Eustace.
[ While he sits here and has an existential crisis. ]
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Unfortunately for Dokja, Eustace has always been terrible at following directions when they don't appeal to him, and right now he's far more worried about Dokja's well-being than his own. Instead of turning back around and going back to bed, he stays right where he is, one hand holding his makeshift blanket cape over his shoulders while the other wraps loosely around his torso. A normal person would probably go take a seat at the foot of the couch or at least a nearby chair, but instead he opts to be the weirdo he is and remain standing several feet away. ]
Are you still worried about what happened? In your dream.
[ Reassure him that everything's fine and then maybe he'll go back to sleep. ]
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Probably because he's just as difficult to deal with! Hesitation lengthens the silence between them, with Dokja struggling to decide on how to best answer. If this question had been asked by literally anyone else, it would have been easy to lie and brush aside the concern. But he's been relatively honest with Eustace these days, and with the lack of consequences or judgement for that honesty, he's not really seeing a reason to break away from this new habit.
Sucking in a deep breath, he looks away, his fingers tightening their hold on his own blanket. ]
It's hard not to think about.
[ Even if it had only been a dream, it had still rattled Dokja to his very core, the effects that he feels even now in the dead of night. ]
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Then don't think about it is what he'd like to say, but he knows from experience doing such a thing isn't so easy. And his favored activity when he needs to empty his mind (rigorous exercise) isn't exactly optimal in the middle of the night and when it's freezing out. So.....what then?
Not thinking isn't an option but maybe they can think about something else. Talk about something else. He's silent a few more moments before abruptly changing the subject. ]
Do you still eat stories?
[ It's the first thing he thinks of, his recent conversation with Han Sooyoung as they'd been clearing out her store. ]
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Really, as much as he appreciates the effort, he has to admit that it's clumsy. But in a comical, endearing sort of way. ]
You've been talking to Han Sooyoung.
[ He shifts to a more comfortable position, making it so that he's not twisting around to face Eustace as he shuffles around so that his back is against the couch cushions in a proper sit. It's not exactly the ideal for a conversation with so much distance between the two of them, but Dokja doesn't want to invite the other man next to him when the night is so late and sleep should be had by at least one of them. He'll just entertain this one question before pressing the matter again. ]
But no, not here. It doesn't work like that in this place. I have to eat normal food again.
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[ What is he supposed to do, ignore her? Actually he does do that a good chunk of the time already, mostly at home, but it's not as though he can avoid her forever. Sometimes they are forced to converse and sometimes it's about strange topics such as eating stories for sustenance. It'd be harder to believe if they weren't here in a place where they can freely enter other people's dreams and illusions of the past can appear when least expected.
Maybe that's why he can talk about it like this now, as though it's some every day occurrence rather than something pulled from a wild fairy tale. ]
Do they [ is there any way to say it without sounding stupid ] taste different?
[ Do they all have different mouthfeels?? Never mind, this actually sounds stupid as hell to talk about. ]
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But he takes a moment to think about it, head tilting to the side as his gaze travels to the ceiling. There's not much to make out there, especially in the darkness, but past that wall above their heads, he imagines the sky littered with stars, each one compromised of stories that had landed them there. He thinks of his own, then the stories that he had refused to eat despite watching the other Constellations enjoy them with great relish. ]
They do, [ he finally says with a small smile. ] The ones I had tasted the best.
[ He keeps it vague, complications of how to describe the taste acting as a barrier, along with the fact that he doesn't want to keep Eustace any longer than he already has. ]
You should really get some sleep, you know. You don't have to do this. I'll be fine.
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At the end of the day, he can't. There are some things he'll never be able to fully relate to (even if part of him wishes he could). All he can do is make sure the person underneath all those experiences is taken care of, and to make sure he doesn't crumble from the weight of all the burdens resting heavy on his shoulders. If that means standing out here in the pitch black cold being an immovable asshole, then so be it. ]
Will you? [ Forgive him if he sounds doubtful after everything he's just seen. ] It shouldn't be hard for you to fall back asleep then.
[ And in that case, it shouldn't be a problem if he just loiters out here until Dokja falls asleep to make sure everything's really fine then, will it? ]
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Dokja's eyebrows lift in surprise, and the small smile on his face grows into somethig a little more teasing. While he understands that this is stemming from a place of concern, his first instinct is to deflect and ease up on the heaviness permeating the air between them. That's why, when he opens his mouth, he decides on being stupid. ]
Planning to watch me sleep?
[ Should have done that during the night of the masquerade rather than dip out as soon as Dokja fell asleep. ]
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But, you know? That's not a bad suggestion. Maybe it's incredibly childish and incredibly stupid as far as good suggestions go, but it's not as though people are all that logical when it's the middle of the night and sleep deprivation is dragging them down.
Other things being (very quietly) dragged over: a chair that Eustace deposits on the other side of the coffee table across the couch, which he promptly takes a seat in, one leg crossing over the other. ]
Sure.
[ This is where he lives now until Dokja falls asleep. Hopefully no one else wakes up for a midnight snack and sees these two weirdos staring at each other in the dark. ]
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The day he learns to read people is the day civilization collapses.
Anyway, it's kind of unfair that he's been telling Eustace to go to sleep and gotten nothing for his efforts, only for the other man to turn around and do the same to him now. They're obviously both exhausted, it's the middle of the night, and they've both come from a stressful nightmare. It feels like there's only one correct answer for this situation.
So Dokja, with all the grace and care of a man deprived of sleep and coming down from adrenaline both good and bad, suggests the normally unsuggestable. ]
We should just sleep together.
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It's precisely because he's sleep-deprived that the suggestion lands entirely the wrong way. Instead of the literal meaning of sleep together, his mind imagines a callback to their time at the masquerade and it takes far too long for his common sense to kick in and smother the burst of bewilderment he feels, replacing it instead with the more likely meaning.
As if Dokja (the career bottom) would ever suggest anything else other than the literal.
This is hardly the first time he's shared a bed with a man, but the suggestion feels different this time, a prickle of awareness lodging itself into the back of his mind. This seems like a dangerous road to go down, but no worse than both of them engaging in a game of sleep chicken.
Still. ]
We're not going to both fit on the couch.
[ Unless they really squeeze together, but that's a whole different can of worms. ]
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Yes, it's an excellent plan. Absolutely foolproof. ]
My bed's wide enough to fit us both.
[ It's taking everything in him not to think about the last time they were on a bed together. But this is different because no one's swallowed a bunch of aphrodisiac, and that had just been a one-time thing... Nothing about their current circumstances is the same, and this is what Dokja uses to rationalize his decision. He's always been good about making excuses, after all. ]
Come on.
[ Without further delay, Dokja drapes his own blanket over his shoulders and stands, waiting for Eustace to get up and lead the way back to the bedroom. ]
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Well, why wouldn't it be? There'd be more space, a mattress would be far more comfortable than the couch, and if there are any reservations flitting through his mind about being in a bed (again) with Dokja, then that's a personal problem he's just going to have to deal with. It's not as though any of the circumstances from before are present now, after all. The only thing out of place are his own traitorous feelings, and if he's learned anything from past experience, it's that feelings get messy and he's better off burying them until there's nothing left. May as well start now.
So he sighs. Finally gets up from his chair. ]
Fine. You better not kick in your sleep though.
[ Since he didn't stick around long enough last time to find out. ]
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I don't know if I do.
[ He's never really shared a bed before, so no one's been able to tell him if he's a kicker?
Anyway, it doesn't take them very long to get to his room since it's literally right there in the hall. It's probably the combination of exhaustion and the allure of lying in a familiar bed (even for just a short while), but Dokja wastes no time in dropping down on the mattress, face first against his pillow. The way every single muscle in his body immediately relaxes could send him into a deep sleep right then and there, but he fights the urges and twists his face to the side, one hand extending to pat the empty spot on the bed next to him. ]
Eustace.
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In contrast, Eustace's movements are far more tentative, as he pauses by the bed even after Dokja invites him in. The seat he takes at the edge of the bed is careful, and the slow drag of all his limbs onto the mattress even moreso, his whole body rigid despite tiredness trying to push his muscles into a state of relaxation. (There is no way he is going to be able to sleep like this but that's okay, because the plan is definitely to get up and go pass out on the couch as soon as Dokja falls asleep.)
For now he will just. Lie there awkwardly, doing his best to roleplay as a wooden board instead of a normal human. It's fine, there's nothing wrong with this. ]
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But they can't both have the same exact plan, and there's no way in hell Dokja's going to be able to execute what he'd cooked up at this rate. Not when Eustace looks so uncomfortable and awkward, which is kind of funny in Dokja's delirious state. He huffs out a quiet laugh as he shifts to his side, then yanks the covers over both of them. Seriously, what's with this atmosphere? It's not that awful to share a bed with him.
God, it pays to be stupid. ]
Try closing your eyes.
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It's both cute and mildly infuriating when the blanket's pulled over him, as though he's some small child that needs to be tucked in at night. (When was the last time anyone tucked him in like this? Longer ago than he can remember, that's for sure.) He scowls up at the ceiling, offended that he needs to be told how to sleep. ]
I know how to sleep.
[ He's done it every single day of his life up until now? He's great at it, thanks. What he's not so great at is following instructions, and instead of closing his eyes as told, he also turns to his side so he can stare at Dokja. Without saying anything, like a creep.
Sleep chicken continues..... ]
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Is this really something that has to get difficult?? Then again, when aren't things difficult with the two of them... ]
I'm not going to kick you, if that's what you're worried about.
[ This is a half-lie. He will most definitely kick Eustace if the other man continues to not listen to him. ]
now i have to make them kiss again before i die
[ Can Dokja at least pick a consistent story to stick to if he's going to lie like this? Damn. Put some effort in.
But it looks like someone is going to get kicked at the rate things are going, with neither of them succumbing to sleep just yet. Impressive, given how late it is and how tired they both are. ]
Go to sleep. I'll find out that way if you kick or not.
[ Also a half-lie. He will stay five minutes after Dokja falls asleep to test this theory before crawling back out to the couch. ]
so that he can be depressed AND confused?!?!
Dokja settles for a frown, his eyebrows drawing together when his push is met with further resistance. This was actually a terrible idea, he's coming to realize, with neither side wanting to give in. It doesn't help at all that Dokja feels the threat of sleep pulling at him now that he's comfortable in a familiar bed with a cozy blanket over him.
Even so, he fights to stay awake. ]
You're so determined to watch me sleep. [ And then, a little more jokingly: ] It's not a pretty sight, you know.
[ There's probably a lot of drool involved. ]
yeah, the best parting gift
I don't care what you look like.
[ Dokja could drool over half the bed and Eustace would consider it nothing more than a mild inconvenience, and also maybe ammo for some light ribbing later down the line.
With a sigh, he rolls back onto his back, returning his gaze up towards the ceiling instead of the muddy outline of Dokja's face in the dark. Easier to talk to unmoving inorganic matter than another person with their own thoughts and feelings. It'd be easier too to just go to sleep as told, but he's always been a chronic overthinker and overworrier and he's still worried now about the mental well-being of the man lying next to him. ]
I just don't want you getting nightmares again.
[ Said quietly, without the usual acerbic front he puts on. Truly exhaustion makes a man so vulnerable. Maybe he should just be tired all the time. ]
sadge
And maybe it would be nice to think that Eustace really does worry about him, as vulnerable as that feels. ]
Oh.
[ It slips past his lips before Dokja can think to stop it, and he's suddenly grateful for how dark it is in the room and that Eustace has turned away from him, because he can most definitely feel his face heat up. In a mad scramble to save the situation, Dokja hurries to say more. ]
It wasn't so bad since... [ His voice grows quieter in embarrassment. ] Well, you showed up.
they won't kiss anyway so it doesn't matter
heart breaks
i forgot i didn't reply to this