With an exasperated look on his face, Dokja kicks at the covers, then slides down into them until he's lying down properly. His pillow is no longer against his back, but beneath his head, and he stares at the ceiling with a frown. It feels like he is vaguely being treated as some kind of unruly child.
Probably because he's acting like one. ]
Happy now?
[ And then he turns his face toward Eustace, waiting for him to get into bed too. This is a team effort. ]
[ Can't believe Gray is the most mature person in this house despite being the youngest by a wide margin.
But thanks, he's satisfied. Or at least, satisfied to follow suit and slide in under the covers, until they're both lying on their backs staring up at the ceiling. Look at this beautiful progress. If only the mood weren't so horribly awkward. But it's okay, because Eustace has a plan. Is it a good plan? Absolutely not, but it is still A Plan.
Instead of answering the question like a reasonable person, he simply says (or more accurately, simply demands): ]
Turn around.
[ To face him ideally but if he wants to face the wall that's okay too. ]
The long delay after the demand comes for a number of reasons, the first being that Dokja doesn't know where he's supposed to be turning to? The second is that he's debating whether or not it's worth it to refuse the order like a jerk and remain where he is. But seriously, turn around where?
When he finally does turn, it's to face Eustace, but only so that he can ask. ]
[ He didn't think it was that difficult of a request? Why is it taking Dokja so long? (Frederick voice) Pick a side and turn??
Eustace looks vaguely annoyed by the time Dokja does turn around (though really, what else is new with him) and, as per usual, once again chooses not to answer the question posed to him. (But again, what else is new with him.) Instead, he also turns onto his side so he can stare at Dokja for a long moment, as if considering something inside his head. Once his decision is apparently made, he reaches out a hand, grabs Dokja by the arm, and tugs him close enough so that he can envelope the other man in a weird side hug.
Not to make anything less awkward, because this is definitely a hundred times more awkward than before, but simply because he doesn't trust Dokja not to weasel out of bed the second his own eyes droop closed. At least this way there'll be some resistance put up.
It sure would be nice if he said anything to explain himself right now, but instead he is just going to lay in bed in silence like a creep. ]
[ What a turn of events, and Dokja is left reeling as he's pulled forward, his face suddenly tucked against Eustace's clavicle. For a second, he's stunned, his eyes wide as he stares at nothing in particular, whole body tense. It's not like this is new for them either, but it still manages to feel like the first time, his heart rapidly beating in his chest.
... It's not discomfort that spills out of him, though. This close, Dokja can feel Eustace's own heartbeat, and that alone eventually relaxes him as he practically sinks against the other man. ]
What the hell...
[ At odds with his words, their Exalt connection twines ever closer, and it's pure happiness and relief on Dokja's end. There's a small lift of his lips that he's quick to hide as he turns his face inward, one arm coming to rest around Eustace to hold him close in return. It's not lost on Dokja how right this feels, how content he is. There's a giddiness welling up inside of him that's difficult to ignore, but most of all, he feels completely safe. Maybe that's why his eyes are quick to slip closed as exhaustion finally sets in, and maybe that's why his mind shuts off with the knowledge that he can let his guard down here. Dokja won't say it in words, but the feeling that he gives off is clearly felt.
[ He'd expected more pushback, verbally or physically or both, so it's surprising when Dokja gives in near immediately, face sinking into his shoulder and one arm wrapping around in a similar motion. Surprising and worrying, because how bad must things have been while he was gone for a simple hug to elicit a reaction like this? Despite the contentment that resonates through their connection his heart aches, and his arm tightens even more around Dokja.
But there's no point worrying now about what he could have done. There's only the present and the future lying in front of them, and if this is what it takes it ensure that Dokja feels safe and convinced of his presence then this is what he'll do every night until those fears shrink back into the shadows. If his heart beats too loud in his chest and he's left acutely aware of every small movement in front of him....well, it's not like he hasn't had plenty of practice suppressing emotions that might otherwise interfere with his day to day life.
Though here, in the safety of their house, the privacy of their room, it's easier to loosen the chokehold on his feelings. Little by little, his body relaxes and his breathing evens out. His worries from before fade away, replaced by a contentment to match Dokja's own. For now they can both be honest with each other, with their feelings if not their words. ]
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no subject
With an exasperated look on his face, Dokja kicks at the covers, then slides down into them until he's lying down properly. His pillow is no longer against his back, but beneath his head, and he stares at the ceiling with a frown. It feels like he is vaguely being treated as some kind of unruly child.
Probably because he's acting like one. ]
Happy now?
[ And then he turns his face toward Eustace, waiting for him to get into bed too. This is a team effort. ]
no subject
But thanks, he's satisfied. Or at least, satisfied to follow suit and slide in under the covers, until they're both lying on their backs staring up at the ceiling. Look at this beautiful progress. If only the mood weren't so horribly awkward. But it's okay, because Eustace has a plan. Is it a good plan? Absolutely not, but it is still A Plan.
Instead of answering the question like a reasonable person, he simply says (or more accurately, simply demands): ]
Turn around.
[ To face him ideally but if he wants to face the wall that's okay too. ]
no subject
The long delay after the demand comes for a number of reasons, the first being that Dokja doesn't know where he's supposed to be turning to? The second is that he's debating whether or not it's worth it to refuse the order like a jerk and remain where he is. But seriously, turn around where?
When he finally does turn, it's to face Eustace, but only so that he can ask. ]
What? To look at the wall?
[ Is Eustace feeling shy... ]
thanks for catering to my needs
Eustace looks vaguely annoyed by the time Dokja does turn around (though really, what else is new with him) and, as per usual, once again chooses not to answer the question posed to him. (But again, what else is new with him.) Instead, he also turns onto his side so he can stare at Dokja for a long moment, as if considering something inside his head. Once his decision is apparently made, he reaches out a hand, grabs Dokja by the arm, and tugs him close enough so that he can envelope the other man in a weird side hug.
Not to make anything less awkward, because this is definitely a hundred times more awkward than before, but simply because he doesn't trust Dokja not to weasel out of bed the second his own eyes droop closed. At least this way there'll be some resistance put up.
It sure would be nice if he said anything to explain himself right now, but instead he is just going to lay in bed in silence like a creep. ]
my screaming is still heard in the distance
... It's not discomfort that spills out of him, though. This close, Dokja can feel Eustace's own heartbeat, and that alone eventually relaxes him as he practically sinks against the other man. ]
What the hell...
[ At odds with his words, their Exalt connection twines ever closer, and it's pure happiness and relief on Dokja's end. There's a small lift of his lips that he's quick to hide as he turns his face inward, one arm coming to rest around Eustace to hold him close in return. It's not lost on Dokja how right this feels, how content he is. There's a giddiness welling up inside of him that's difficult to ignore, but most of all, he feels completely safe. Maybe that's why his eyes are quick to slip closed as exhaustion finally sets in, and maybe that's why his mind shuts off with the knowledge that he can let his guard down here. Dokja won't say it in words, but the feeling that he gives off is clearly felt.
He's so glad that Eustace is back. ]
like yaywon screaming for kisumi
But there's no point worrying now about what he could have done. There's only the present and the future lying in front of them, and if this is what it takes it ensure that Dokja feels safe and convinced of his presence then this is what he'll do every night until those fears shrink back into the shadows. If his heart beats too loud in his chest and he's left acutely aware of every small movement in front of him....well, it's not like he hasn't had plenty of practice suppressing emotions that might otherwise interfere with his day to day life.
Though here, in the safety of their house, the privacy of their room, it's easier to loosen the chokehold on his feelings. Little by little, his body relaxes and his breathing evens out. His worries from before fade away, replaced by a contentment to match Dokja's own. For now they can both be honest with each other, with their feelings if not their words. ]