salvageable | does a sick backflip

[ He thinks a kiss would solve it all? One so awkward like an elementary schooler giving their baby crush a little peck? Well, it does work because Joonghyuk understands that Dokja isn’t the most affectionate. He deflates some, but his frown is perpetual and everlasting. ]

Dokja—[ There’s a short pause as he notices how strange that rolls off his tongue. Familiar yet unfamiliar. Odd…

But then he hears the sound of a bag dropping onto the wooden floor. Instantly, his gaze darts to it, left eyebrow twitching, then back to the offender. Annoyed… ]

There is a place for your bag. [ But he isn’t so overbearing and coddling that he’ll take the bag and store it. ] Dinner is ready.

[ Follow him to the kitchen joint living room. Biyoo is already doing that. ]

[ Don't expect Dokja to notice anything, he's blind. Also if he stops by the couch to stare at it longingly like he wants to fall face first into it and knock out, then think nothing of it. Shit, his head really hurts.

And he doesn't have much of an appetite... ]

I'll hang it up later.

[ He sounds distracted as he follows Joonghyuk and Biyoo into the kitchen slash living room, one hand coming up to lightly rub at his temple. It's like the more he moves around, the worse his headache gets. He'll have to WebMD this later... ]

[ Joonghyuk knows... Dokja in every single instance is some degree of idiot, especially when it comes to human relationships. There's a huff at the reassurance. ]

Biyoo ate already.

[ A warning that he doesn't want to see him giving her table scraps. It isn't proper and it would be bad if she were to become too round. On the table is a simple dinner... Rice, a large grilled fish, the side dishes around it, two small bowls of soup (it is prob anchovy base), and glasses of water. Joonghyuk takes a seat, but doesn't start eating until Dokja joins him.

... First though: ]

You look horrible.

[ it's okay that's not going to stop him biyoo..... ]

I'm just tired.

[ Dokja brushes off the mean brand of concern(?), dropping his hand from his head as he hurriedly slides into his seat. He most certainly does look horrible with how especially pale he is, and the dark circles under his eyes are darker than ever.

It's fine? He's fine. Let's focus on the food. ]

This looks good, [ he says, not at all hungry. ] Did it take you long to make everything?

[ Hello? He is watching? ]

No. I prepared most of the sides a couple of days ago.

[ Less cooking today, but... Still frowning. It has always been genuine concern, but Joonghyuk is more... I suppose open about it now, despite how he feels like every fiber of his being fighting against it. He goes silent, staring at Dokja, then abruptly leaves the dinner table without another word.

Not too long after, he returns and places a container on Dokja's side of the table, hovering over him. ]

A tablet every day. [ They're iron supplements. ] You haven't been sleeping well?

[ He can't be watching all the time. Exhibit A: When he suddenly leaves the table (which Dokja does not question because he's used to Joonghyuk coming and going as he pleases), allowing a small piece of fish to quickly be fed to one (1) begging Biyoo.

And then he immediately straightens himself out back in his seat and it's like it never happened. ]

I guess I just have a lot on my mind.

[ Dokja takes the container to peer at its label, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. It's just like Joonghyuk to take care of him, the way he has been for...

—Ugh, his head. ]

Joonghyuk-ah, if I ask you a strange question, do you promise not to get mad?

[ Roll a dice to see how loudly Biyoo eats that piece. Joonghyuk's worries rise, wondering if he should drive Dokja to the hospital, but then the other man poses a strange question. Is this related to the headache? If it isn't, then what could be more important?? Than pain and/or dinner?

... He's suspicious and one eyebrow arches to cement that, but when is he ever not thinking Dokja is sus. ]

What is it?

[ It isn't a promise, no. ]

[ rolls an 18

Ummmm, he's fairly certain he asked for something else and not a question to his question. ]

You have to promise.

[ This is quite possibly his life on the line. ]

[ i got a 20 but he talk about that right now. Dokja receives a flat look... He's displeased that he's being difficult about whatever this is. ]

You're really not going to tell me, if I don't?

[ are they twelve

Joonghyuk doesn't really... Know what constitutes this attitude. He can't even consider Dokja cheating on him. That's impossible. ]

[ Why is it impossible?? It's not impossible??? Dokja has...... fingers shake and refuse to type "game"......... ]

That's right. I won't tell you and then you'll have to think about what it is I'm not telling you until you promise.

[ Think about it. A quick promise is so easy. Who is actually being the difficult one here?

It's still Dokja. ]

[ It's simply impossible? Hides all of the other men and women who are attached to him. His leer becomes more intense, but then he sighs and runs fingers through his own hair. ]

Fine.

[ THERE. ]

[ It's not the "I promise" he wants to hear but it's Joonghyuk, so he'll let it slide.

But oh no, here comes the hard part. Dokja looks as nervous as he feels, gaze dropping down to his lap from the shame of what he's about to ask. ]

Do you... remember how we met?

[ ...... Because he doesn't. And it feels so shitty that he's somehow forgotten? ]

... You were in my way at the bookstore, then you decided to harass me for an autograph.

[ I get to make up whatever I want because Dokja doesn't remember shit. The aura coming from Joonghyuk is definitely "what the fuck" as he grips the back of Dokja's chair tighter.

COME AGAIN? WHERE IS YOUR BRAIN? DID YOU LOSE IT? ]

[ His breath picks up and then he quickly tries to tamp it down. It doesn't help to calm his racing heart, though, and his chest feels tight and constricted.

He doesn't remember that. Nothing about it surfaces any memories. ]

Oh, right.

[ Dokja brings his hands together, settling one on top of the other as he tries to stop the faint tremble running through him. ]

It's coming back to me now.

[ It's really not?? ]

[ Joonghyuk's gaze drops to how Dokja clasps his hands together, reading his overall body language before he looks back up to Dokja's face.

Silence. He's... Incredulous, confused? He would be mad if this wasn't so strange. ]

You're only a good liar when you're prepared.

[ remember ur promise yjh

While Dokja struggles to smooth this over. ]

It must've just slipped my mind since I've been so tired. And since I haven't been sleeping very well—

[ Kim Dok ja

The sudden voice in his head has him shooting to his feet, his chair forcefully shoved back as he reaches up to grab at his head. What the hell?? There's a panicked look on his face he whirls around in search for that unfamiliar voice. ]

What?

[ His eyes land on Joonghyuk. ]

Was that you?

[ When was Joonghyuk ever good at keeping promises that don't benefit him? Joonghyuk was using the chair as an anchor, but he quickly steps aside as Dokja tries to get his bearings... Failing at it, really.

Many thoughts cross his mind, mostly considering taking Dokja to the doctor—maybe to the hospital. ]

... No. [ His fingers twitch, tempted to reach out for Dokja's hand, but he crosses his arms instead. ] What did you hear?

[ Biyoo whines at Dokja's feet. ]

[ Wow, since Joonghyuk won't hold his hand, Dokja will just scoop up Biyoo into his arms and hug her against his chest. His emotional support baby :( ]

I'm okay, Biyoo.

[ Gently pets her... It sounds like he's trying to reassure himself more.

Has he finally lost it? He's hearing voices now? It doesn't return, but his head is back to aching, a rhythmic pounding to match his unsettled heartbeat. ]

It was my name. I thought I heard someone calling me.

[ It doesn't seem right for some reason? Despite how he wants to—he's unsure how to describe the feeling. Biyoo finds when he picks her up, quiets when he seeks comfort in her. She's a soft poof, here to melt those worries away. Dokja may get some puppy kisses.

After another thought, he reaches out to Dokja and skirts fingertips against his neck. Something about this gesture at least feels familiar to him. ]

... If you're not hungry, you can go to bed. [ Does this make it sound like he thinks Dokja is crazy. Should he say more? There's a pause as he figures out words. ] Tell me if you hear the voice again.

[ How can Dokja remain distressed when puppy kisses enter the picture. 🥺

At the brush of contact, he takes a half step toward Joonghyuk but doesn't get any closer than that. It's weird, right? They've been dating as long as they have, but they're still so incredibly awkward with each other. Dokja had blamed it on first relationship jitters in the beginning, and then later just excused it as the two of them being... them...

But now that he thinks about it, really thinks about it, he's not so sure. And maybe that causes him to panic even more. Maybe that's why, at the mention of going to bed, he opens his mouth without thinking to ask, ]

Why have we never had sex?

[ ????????????????????????
???????????¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿

Joonghyuk would have real thoughts and maybe an answer if he wasn't flummoxed, simply thinking about how he would like to wring Dokja's neck? WHO JUST ASKS THAT? WHO DOES THIS? Dokja does. Of course he does. Joonghyuk is used to him blurting whatever on his mind and it drives him insane. ]

[ THINK ABOUT IT WITH HIM

Now the gears are ever so slowly turning...... Dokja doesn't remember how they met, they act stupid weird around each other, and they don't even fuck? Like, what kind of relationship is this?? ]

We share a bed. You can't tell me you've never wondered the same.

[ WHAT IS HAPPENING................ WHAT IS HAPPENING!!! Joonghyuk's eyebrows are always somewhat angled, maybe always furrowed, but they're knitting harsher than ever before. Is this real? Maybe this is a dream? No, he can feel the other man's pulse against his fingers.

Relationships don't ALWAYS have to have sex. Wait. Does this mean Dokja wants to have sex? He shelves that so he doesn't spiral as he answers the questions. ]

Because it's you.

[ This really is Joonghyuk speak and he expects Dokja to understand what he's saying. ]

[ And because it's Dokja, he does not at all understand and instead entirely misconstrues what that answer could mean.

Ah....................... ]

I see.

[ He's hurt?? That was such a hurtful thing to say. But rather than get angry or show how upset he is, Dokja pulls away from Joonghyuk and heads to their bedroom with Biyoo still in his arms.

Once inside, he very deliberately and carefully shuts the door with a gentle click. ]

[ Good to know that even in an au they continue to misunderstand each other despite knowing each other the best? The trend continues. Joonghyuk instantly realizes Dokja took it the wrong way, but he doesn't catch him in time before the man and their shared dog escapes to the room. ]

Dokja—[ Is...

Is the door locked? He quickly follows after and checks the knob. ]

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